Beautiful Boy

This movie speaks so much to me. I'm not a drug addict by any means at all, but it evoked a feeling so close to me. Not belonging and almost not fulfilling an expectation, set by no one, but it's the feeling of intense despair. Like floating and sinking at the same time. The same way Nic felt liked he had wanted this drug, this feeling his whole life, is so honest. You feel a certain depression for so long you can't even remember what being happy felt like. There is something so personal about this film that just hit me too much. Just crying endlessly. I realize that I can make bad decisions too, and it makes me feel comforted, and devastated. Sometimes you don't feel safe in your skin, and sometimes you do. The idea of just running away; freedom just excites me. I can't explain how some of the moments here were too similar to what I've experienced. Emotional ramble aside, it's really delicately shot, nicely acted to a degree that made me sob a lot, and an ending so haunting it just has to be a five. It's strange considering that I've seen this before, and gave it a 4.5, but as time has passed and done it's thing; I guess it became more and more similar to me, and I like that honesty that it gave me. Unwillingly forced into me, but I needed it. God its 4am what the fuck am I doing with myself