Crossroads

This is the greatest movie of all time. I married Britney Spears two days ago, I want Britney Spears to kidnap me, tie me up with barbed wire, and perform brain surgery that causes man-made horrors beyond my comprehension. I want Britney Spears to start playing jump rope with my intestines. I want Britney Spears, to use a rod iron on my testicles. I want Britney Spears to genetically modify her spit so it becomes more acidic than battery acid, and then use it to spit over every square inch of my body. I want Britney Spears to infuse flesh-eating parasites into her shoes, and then use them to step all over me. I want Britney Spears to pull all of my teeth out and leave them as my only meal for the next 3 weeks. I want Britney Spears to force me to kill my own mother and then lick up her blood. I want Britney Spears to hold me at gunpoint and make me eat my pet turtle. I want Britney Spears to send 40,000 volts directly into my nipples. If Britney Spears has a million fans I am one of them. If Britney Spears has ten fans I am one of them. If Britney Spears has only one fan that fan is me. If Britney Spears has no fans, that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against the Britney Spears, I am against the world.