Brokeback Mountain
brokeback mountain, more like brokemyheart mountain. a movie about forbidden gay cowboys was bound to make me get emotional, but i didn’t expect it to be anything like this.. fuck. initially when i heard about this film, i was under the impression that it simply took place on the mountain on the whole time, but the actual storyline it brought makes it so much more emotionally impactful. i really don’t think i’ll be the same after watching this movie, it was simply heartbreaking, and i could sob right now just thinking about it. this review will be rather long, so i’ve opted to split it up, despite the fact that it will most likely be me rambling as always.
i’m not so sure what took me so long to actually want to watch this film because it’s honestly excellent, and at first glance it seems like just the thing i’d enjoy; a gay love story with my baby heath ledger — i was personally sold at heath ledger, but i also love watching movies within this genre because as a gay guy, they really speak to me. when the movie first began, i wasn’t the fondest of it at first cause it was a tad bit slow in the beginning, but it actually picked up pretty fast within the first thirty minutes. the way that it picked up was fairly erotic, but let’s be honest.. with all the beans the boys had been eating, there’s no way that this would’ve been possible without the additional sloppiness, just had to mention. additionally, i know jack’s ass hurt with that ONE spit, no way it didn’t (sorry). going into this film, i expected it to take place over one summer, not 20+ years, so i was taken by surprise as i watched their forbidden love unfold over time rather than all at once, which really got the emotions rolling as well. for starters, knowing that ennis had a fiancée waiting on him to return was already a saddening fact, so it made it all the more sad when the boys first departed + jack going back the next summer to see if ennis was returning, cries. watching their individual lives begin to form within the four years they were apart also made all of this way sadder because they had both settled down with women and kids. when ennis received the first postcard, i smiled a bit at the fact, but those sad ass postcards also brought one of my ONLY complaints about this film: jack’s horrid handwriting that i could barely understand within the five seconds it was on the screen for. it’s not a genuine complaint, more so a joking one, but it still stands because seriously i had to look back at those multiple times. watching the guys reunite was such a cute scene that i did not expect there to be a kiss in as alma was right upstairs, but boy was i wrong — i felt so bad for alma during this scene cause she obtained the knowledge very early, yet kept it to herself for a while. as much as i liked ennis and jack together in the sense that they were free together, i still felt horribly for their wives because it was as if they were living a lie the entire time, but i mean, so were the guys. it’s all just a bittersweet feeling cause on one side, the boys are happy, but on the other, their wives and kids are really put at a loss. eventually alma gets away and moves on with her life, but lureen is left under the impression that her marriage is working, with a few suspicions here and there about jack’s fishing buddy. the cast for this film was excellent, and each time i saw a face i recognized i was gagged a bit more each time.. seeing linda i was like IS THAT FUCKING VELMA? plus some other notable faces like the scary movie chick and jim hopper. after this film, i’ll never look at the white queen from alice in wonderland the same again.
ennis was such a complex and conflicting character for me later in the movie in the aspect that he was a pretty bad guy; however, i understood why entirely. he was in love with someone he knew he couldn’t be with realistically in the era, which sucks balls. he was clearly in love with jack, but after seeing the dead gay man at such a young age, it was implemented into his brain that guys ‘like him’ ended up like that. i felt horribly for him, but i also felt awful for those around him who had to deal with everything going on. the scene in the kitchen with alma made me so upset because she was simply just stating the truth about the matter, and he damn near killed the woman. i understand his rage and difficulty expressing everything, but his resort being anger was something that truly sucked, yet he couldn’t help it. he’s got so much depth to his character, and his story is so sad, even sadder than that of jack’s. jack was willing to put a halt on everything in his life to be with ennis, but ennis wasn’t willing to do the same for him, with a good and understandable reason too. it just sucks that the boys got stuck in a time where homophobia was at a peak, preventing ennis from being able to feel even somewhat comfortable with jack unless it was behind closed doors atop brokeback mountain.
the ending, man. that really fucked me up beyond words. while i didn’t cry as hard as i could, it was still heart-wrenching and caught me so off guard. i knew this was a rather sad movie from what i heard about it prior to watching, but i seriously didn’t expect any of that. i just thought it was gonna be them deciding to split for good or finding others to be happy with, not jack’s fucking death. it’s also sad that ennis fell under the impression that jack was murdered rather than believing the story lureen was telling at first.. he really cared for him, and the fact that he went to jack’s parent’s house after receiving the news, i sobbed. AND THE FLANNEL. you have to be kidding me. him taking that and keeping it along with the post card in his new home — you got me fucked up ennis del mar.
all in all, this was an excellently put together film that really felt like a punch directly into my gut. i expected this movie to get me horny and bricked up, but the way i was crying felt more like a brick was thrown AT me.. this was legit sadder than call me by your name and that’s saying a lot for me because that movie really hurts me. i don’t even wanna talk about the flashback scene to the first summer they spent on the mountain, i’ll start crying again cause it really just fucks with me. ennis del mar, my sad baby, needed to be happy with jack twist, and i’ll forever be bitter that the two of them weren’t able to live together in peace. i hate homophobia, give me my gay cowboys and their happy love story.. please.