Beautiful Boy

It irks me that people now see this as a “tik tok movie” This movie explores drug addiction and how it affects the user and those around them who care about them so well. “It’s not like fucking cancer” a line Nic says while on the phone about himself, basically saying it’s not something he just has its something he’s doing to himself;even if he can’t stop it. The way drugs rewire the basic functions of your brain is horrifying, it can twist every aspect of your being and destroy you from the inside out. I think one of the most important moments of the movie was the scene where Nics dad is using the substances his son uses, to understand just a fraction of the pain and suffering that his boy is enduring. This movie is harrowing from the very start. I’m really proud of this movie for avoiding drug glorification at all costs; you see too much of it in all forms of media which leads people to get influenced into these thing without realizing the horror that is addiction. This movie is raw to the bone. There’s no humor or levity and there’s no magic cure where nic just heals like poof just because he wants to at some points or because his family loves him. Cause that’s now how it works. You could want to get better so so bad for those who you care about, but there’s always going to be relapses. Recovery is never linear. No matter if it’s substances, self harm, eating disorders, etc. it will never be linear. People get addicted to these things usually out of a last resort; something to ease the pain internally but numbing and the mind through pain. But once you start, it’s beyond hard to stop a drive that only those who have been through it understand. Cause it’s there now. That feeling you have; the rush of adrenaline. You will always have that feeling in the back of your mind; there’s not a way just to cut it out. You can try to suppress it, to grow and do better. But some days that feelings stronger than others, the memories more vivid, the sensations. When you’ve climbed your way back into the hole and you remeber how good it felt. That’s addiction. It’s always there. I think you can argue that sobriety is temporary or not temporary, but that would be a whole another essay. But back the film. It handles it perfectly. The feelings of wanting to get worse or wanting to stay in that hole, the substance being the only thing you have to rely on. Then the flickers of hope you have when you try and life your life without it until you find yourself in a tuff spot again and the cycle is forever repeating. I think this is something that would be good to show in schools, to diverge kids off the course of drugs. To show them how it not just ruins themselves but those around them. Who want to help but don’t know where to even begin.  This is a movie I can only watch really once a year. It’s a hard watch. That leaves a hole in your stomach, the gut wrenching feeling.