The Notebook

I went to see The Notebook in cinemas on Valentine’s Day with my friend Ana and accidentally made it the most unserious romantic experience of my life. By the time I got there late, the cinema looked like a population census of couples. Completely packed. Not seats available packed. Relationship status verification line packed. They gave us free popcorn, a tiny bottle of champagne I absolutely drank, keychains, a photo booth. So instead of watching the movie we accidentally completed the entire Valentine’s event checklist first. I prioritized taking a concerning number of photo booth pictures because documentation is mandatory. We sat next to an elderly couple actively living in the third act of the movie. Halfway through we developed an important philosophical question after observing our neighbors: do old people find other old people sexy? To them, they’re not “two old people”, they’re just “us”. Old people are just young people who never stopped loving the same person. They’re not “old and romantic,” they’re just continuing the same relationship on a different difficulty setting. Honestly kind of the whole thesis of The Notebook. Now about the actual film. Everyone told me I was going to cry so much. Like mentally prepare. Bring tissues. Emotional collapse incoming. And I did cry. But not the way I expected. Because I was still kind of drunk. So instead of fully spiraling into sadness, my brain was like, okay this is sad but also… When are they going to kiss again? When is something dramatic going to happen? When is the chaos coming back? Also, shoutout to Lon (Allie's fiancé) for being the most emotionally stable man in a romance movie. I was waiting for a dramatic crash out, for him to throw a chair, scream, do something. But no, he respects her decision to choose Noah over him. King behavior. Wrong movie to be mature in but admirable. The best part: watching a lifelong love story while seated next to what looked like its sequel. The couple beside us had already finished the movie decades ago and were just calmly living in the epilogue. I didn’t leave heartbroken, I somehow left thinking more about elderly attraction than heartbreak. I left feeling like I accidentally attended a relationship time machine while mildly intoxicated. I didn’t just watch The Notebook, I accidentally participated in it socially. Valentine’s done right.