Normal People

so much time passes and shows and movies like this always bring back old memories that i try to repress all the time, its like im doing a subconscious psychological and emotional kamikaze to myself. and then it all comes crashing back in waves, and sometimes i just can't help but enjoy feeling sad and loathing in the melodrama i create in my brain, it's almost too comforting all the fake scenarios, all the what ifs, all of the i hope moments, all the random dreams that i wake up to confused by why i still think of those things, all the playlists and the sad songs etc etc the more sad part about it is the more you tap into those memories and break down the dam again, the weaker the waves get, the emotional toll lessens each and every time, and i think i'll miss that too, weirdly enough shoutout connell for being really relatable with the anxiety memorable quotes: "And, I think I thought if I moved here I’d fit in better. I thought I’d be with more like-minded people but that just hasn’t … I left Carricklea thinking I could have a different life. But, I hate it here and I can never go back because those friendships are gone and Rob is gone and I can’t see him again. I can’t get that life back.” Connell: “I don’t really click with a lot of people….I struggle with that actually”      Therapist: “Do you think it’s a new problem or is it familiar to you?” Connell: “….It’s familiar, I would say…In school I definitely felt that feeling of isolation or whatever but…people seemed to like me.