Punch-Drunk Love

Edit: I wrote this before I found out I was misdiagnosed with autism 😭 😭 but im not gonna change it because it’s silly to look back on okay lots of yapping incoming  I’m not the best at writing reviews and lowkey this is kind of like an older review put together into something more decent I originally began writing a review for this movie July 7th at 2am, I forgot to post it, but I looked over it recently and upon a rewatch a lot of the review stood up. I had to edit a bit of it though, some parts didn’t need editing.  This movie holds a personal space in my soul, to me it is entirely an ASD (autism spectrum disorder) story, yet an ASD story that can be almost universally understood and related to, but besides that, it’s a story about love. I remember the moment Barry Egan went and picked up that harmonium off the side of the road moments after that well framed car wreck scene, I knew I would think about this movie for a long time.  classic car crash and piano moment 🎹🚘 I love how the soundtrack is used throughout the film. Jon Brion’s score conveys brilliant duality between Barry’s regular unsatisfactory life and the harmony between him and Lena. Consistently the soundtrack is used to convey the heightened feelings of fear and social anxiety Barry faces by being himself, while during his time with Lena, the music conveys comfort and love, the harmonium instrument is used during those scenes not only to suit the soundtrack, but because the harmonium is used as the physical personification of Barry and Lena’s love for each other. Robert Elswit’s cinematography helps convey themes of isolation as he frames Barry often being isolated within an environment of space, like when he backs into corners or distances himself from his family or other issues, Barry is consistently isolated. The way Robert Elswit’s lighting constantly conveyed feelings of love whenever Lena was near was beautiful, I love how when Barry is calling her in Hawaii, the broken phone booth light stops flickering when she answers, finally gaining light, as if the lights know they’re meant to be. Themes of attachment are heavily seen through Barry, as he literally and metaphorically brings the things and people he is latched onto into his problems, like his phone phone in the beginning of the film or the hospitals phone during the third act, and ofc dragging Lena into the wreck of his past transgressions. In the opening of the movie he is heard trying to give his home phone to someone he is doing business with, they express that they don’t need his home phone and that his business number is just fine, that to me was all that was needed to convey attachment and isolation so well.  Waikiki (Ladies K) and He Needs Me (Shelley Duvall) 🔥 🎶  Often I have heard the themes of the “meltdowns” that Barry Egan has throughout the film misrepresented. I feel like narratively it should be more obvious- I mean his sister called him the r slur- but if Barry Egan’s character can be seen as a character with ASD, if people interpret his “meltdowns” as deranged unchecked aggression, that implies a negative connotation to people with ASD, however I see it narratively as acceptance, Lena accepts Barry even though he has had “meltdowns”, because she is able to see past them. The meltdowns are more of a theme of insecurity in context stemming from trauma in Barry’s life. The most amazing part is how Lena saw past that, while nobody else could see through the complexity of carrying that past and those feelings in the environment around him while he tries to socially connect-it’s the theme of understanding being conveyed, it’s a theme of the acceptance of one’s many flaws, vulnerability, love.  As someone with ASD (edit, was misdiagnosed and have another thing), I don’t really know what life could ever be like without it, and I don’t always wish to. I feel like the movie conveys that feeling of inability to know how others without ASD are, how people “should be”, as well as the feeling of isolation that can come with that, in the scene between Barry and his brother in Law, who is a dentist.  “I wanted to ask you this because you’re a doctor, right? I don’t like myself sometimes, can you help me?” “Barry I’m a dentist… I- what kind of help do you think I can give you?” “I know, I uh, maybe you know other doctors?” “Like a psychiatrist?” “I just don’t have anybody else I can talk to about things, and I understand it’s confidential with a doctor. I don’t want my sisters to know, okay? I am a bit embarrassed about this.” “Barry, if this is about getting a phone number to a psychiatrist, I can do that, it’s no problem… but what exactly is wrong?” “I don’t know if there is anything wrong because I don’t know how other people are. I sometimes cry a lot, for no reason.”  And then, Barry begins crying, and walks away leaving the scene. In this scene thematically, I feel like the social aspects of ASD are conveyed well, and so is Barry’s loneliness and inability to let himself be vulnerable without falling apart. To me that dialogue shared between those two characters sticks out, the complexity of what Barry is trying to convey is immediately undermined by the Brother in Law who sees Barry as inferior, in his eyes Barry has already had a melt down prior to the scene, because of that his dialogue is invalidated. Later in the film he tells the sisters anyways, giving Barry yet another reason to not let himself trust or be vulnerable towards anybody, for there is no authenticity to find and venting just leads to another room. The weird scenes of love this movie are so amazing, I love all the awkward moments, Barry running across her apartment complex, tripping an alarm, just so he could kiss her goodbye, as he told her  “I don’t freak out. No matter what my sisters say.” And she told him “Okay.” God I love this movie, there is nothing like the safety of love.  I love how throughout the film Barry is seen to be mostly physically avoidant from affection, towards everyone except for Lena, because other people make him uncomfortable and he finally felt comfortability with her. It makes every single moment where they hold each other sweetly as the harmonium plays all the more livelier, and I love how all of the color looks in those scenes as well, it’s always so colorful and beautiful it’s awesome. Oh to be in love  I love how comfortable Barry and Lena are with each other, they were holding each other saying odd shit like “Damn I love you so much I wanna eat you haha 👀 🎹”  Dunno what the themes of cannibalism are for, surely they won’t actually eat each other because they love each other. Two autistic people and a piano in a really color blue looking movie 🌀🔵 masterpiece 🤩