Joyland

joyland?? more like GRIEFLAND !! this movie really made me feel a lot tbh. the entire film is an amalgamation of household repression, sexuality, feminism and livelihood !! i loved bibas character, she’s unapologetically her and embracing her trans identity in the slueths of pakistan is incredibly brave, i understood when she stood up for herself in /that/ scene between her and her haider: as sweet as haider is she cant possibly be anyones experiment haider left me with mixed emotions tbh, him being a south asian man who actually engages in household chores and looking after his neices n nephews felt incredibly rare, especially him letting his wife seek out employment all still while living in pakistan ?! shocked me. i definitely felt for his struggle with his sexuality and attraction to other people especially navigating smth so taboo in a traditional muslim environment for i too shake my fists at repression of sexuality and identity expression that goes against the norms !! but i felt incredibly mad that despite how sweet he was he was very a passive person, like Yes he does go along with what his father says and when he voices his opinions its always week willed - especially in regards to mumtaz ! Oh Mumtaz !!!!! she captured my entire #being in this movie, i felt soo much grief on behalf of her, she felt so free spirited and had so much life in her but the minute she gave up her job it felt like she couldnt really escape her fate of a desi muslim women, she lost so much of herself in the eveyday regime of a household wife, all while her husband was understanding a huge part of his identity. it felt hard for me to be happy for haider when it felt like it was at the expense of mumtaz, the janazah ghusl scene actually gave me goosebumps, it pained me to know her last words were “i dont know” when asked what they’ll look like at 70 .. bc she knew she’ll never know ! theres something so symbolic at taking away the life of yourself and your unborn son, but her being stuck in this viscious restrictive cycle left her no choice. in a society that values men, the fate of her unborn son was to never really live. haider in the ocean in the last scene was so important to me, im reminded of bibas recollection of the karachi beach to be huge and expansive and the humans to be so little, it did feel like haider was constantly consumed with the weight of everyone else’s expectations