La La Land

I want to write an entire essay right now(and I might) but I don’t know what to say exactly so here goes. This movie captures what I think about so well. It’s witty, sad, glorifying, and at some points lonely. This movie is truly a rollercoaster, but this movie is about passion, and that might be the reason why I’m still on this app and pushing myself as hard as I can. I think that without this movie, I’d feel very lost, and I’d feel frustrated with myself. What Damien chazelle does that is so inspiring is the way he blends his passion. He blends his love for music and jazz with his lifelong dream of Hollywood. I think he does this in a near perfect way. He personifies both of these passions into 2 very likeable and relatable characters. They both have dreams, and the fact that their relationship doesnt work out is what speaks so me. I think that Ryan gosling is king and Ryan gosling is life. Emma stone is also a treasure and the world doesn’t deserve her acting. They both have amazing chemistry and bring the feelings to life. Seb has a passion for jazz and cares very strongly when Mia doesn’t recognize his ball, something that happens almost day to day with my friends and I. Mia has a dream she won’t give up on and her friend helps her accomplish that dream. That leads me to my next on the dome thought, which is that my friends are some of the most important people in my life. They help me in every way and every form of life, believing in me and helping me motivate myself and eventually achieve my goals. I was talking to a friend earlier, and I thought of how crazily different my life had been if I went down a different path. Whether I went to a different school or I hung out with different people, I don’t think I’d have gotten as far as I have in the last 2 years. Essentially, Mia and Sebastian are the definition of support and love(maybe not together but separately yk). This last few months have been hard for me. I’ve had tough projects, exams, and classes. I felt a little bit disappointed with how one of my short films turned out, although I don’t think it was bad or even close to not good, I just don’t think it was as “great” as I could’ve made it. I thought that I could’ve been a better director(and overall friend) and made something I could be prouder of. I know I’ll have more experiences in the future, it’s just that this was a set block of time dedicated to a project that I could spend time in class working on, and I thought I could’ve taken better advantage of it. I didn’t win any awards, and didn’t get nominated for as much that I could have. It was a pretty frustrating experience, although I did learn many new things in life and its respective industry. On top of tests, failing classes, and a paper I just got my grade back on(not the best grade), I’ve felt pretty demoralized recently. I’ve felt upset at myself and in many mood swings of depression and anxiety. After watching this and sending time with my friends in the last couple days I’ve come to realize that thinking too much is a double edged sword. Every step you’re thinking ahead, there’s one behind it you’re not thinking about enough. I think that some of this came from a sense of loneliness, or the impending doom of loneliness. There have been nights where I am by myself thinking, and those thoughts have not been the healthiest of thoughts. I think that seeing some of my friends go, as well as thinking of some of my friends leaving has really made me question myself sometimes, and I’m not sure what to make of it. In terms of the romance aspect of this movie, that’s uh, something I’m still working on in life. I think I’ve come to a conclusion that la la land is genuinely a masterpiece, and I’ve felt something different every time I’ve watched it. I had a run where I only laughed, one where I only cried, and many runs of the 2 combined. It’s a movie that always brings out the best and worst in me, and I think my friends are getting pretty tired of it. I’m going to listen to Gracie Abrams(2027 march tickets!) and eat my bag of m&ms and play chess(215 elo btw 😎) good night have a good summer happy pride month.