Secretary
actually yes this is a perfect movie.
on my first i loved it so much but deducted a star because i was off put by the fact that mr grey had this a bad habit of toying with his secretaries. he’d done this before and would’ve inevitably done it again be he can’t help himself. he doesn’t know why, but it was only on my second watch (now with a more mature mind lol) that i can see the shame he had not only for his desires but for his actions. i really appreciated him much more this time around. his awkward demeanor, feigning control while not entire sure what he’s really doing at all times. he had a temper. he was avoidant. they were perfect for each other not only because they both fulfills the desires they had but because lee helped him break his cycle of bad habits. overcome his avoidance while he helped her overcome her shyness. they’re both strange and understand each other in a way that is just perfect.
and ah seriously. it was just the most romantic thing for him to show her that he loved her in her entirety including all her wounds and scars. and might i add isn’t it just the ultimate reserved weird girl fantasy to meet someone just perfect for you that can tell you exactly what to do and how to do it? when you’re so lost in life and haven’t grown into who you are or who you’re supposed to be yet. when someone sees something in you despite that. this is one of my favorite character archetypes. a repressed immature woman growing into herself through sexual liberation. it’s almost a coming of age story in a way.
something about it transcends romance. aside from the way he was so so attentive to her and every move she made (the sniffling, the eraser shavings, the shoes…) and the obvious way he was trying and failing to resist his feelings, and the absolute satisfaction, adoration, and glee he felt when she passed his little test, the eroticism is what elevates it. the way they didn’t have sex until the very end. there’s something about erotic acts—not quite penetrative sex—that is just so much better in the case of romance or erotic film. it means so much more, says so much more. to me, somehow, it’s much more intimate than anything. the desire to just be with each other and touch each other.
i do also want to mention the controversial conversation surrounding submissive women. Babygirl (2024) brought this back up recently as did sabrina carpenter somehow. in the case of secretary the movie and lee as a character are completely aware of the societal expectations women have to be submissive and the way many people in feminist circles encourage other women to reject this entirely, especially in the sexual sense. one of the women coming to see lee at the office recommend her feminist literature. my own opinion on this is that i don’t think we should shame women for enjoying taking on a submissive role because of systemic misogyny and whatever other reasons they give for telling her she’s so wrong for this. i’m personally sex positive so of course im biased this way. anyway, in lee’s case she’s very interesting. by the end half of the movie she is the pursuer. in fact before that as me grey was pulling away in avoidance, she was calculating and intentional in the way she was trying to seduce him and get his attention back on her. she takes on a sexually submissive role for her own enjoyment, but she does hold power in the relationship. i think with submission comes power because without the submissive’s willingness to submit, the dominant is left with nothing. along with all the other careful intricacies of a relationship like this. a well balanced one allows the submissive to be heard and lee made sure she was heard loud and clear.