First Reformed

*“I know that nothing can change, and there is no hope” -Thomas Merton * Film of my life and the way it’s trending will be the defining film of an entire generations outlook. Not sure if anything has come close to capturing the 21st century plight in a way that’s not only fully authentic, but a sulking reclusion into our own existence. The amount of quotes in this film that just relentlessly echo in my brain is truly not healthy, one that’s changed me however and I’m not sure how it wouldn’t. Ozu, Bresson, Dreyer - Schrader. Lock it all away and watch your peril grow, courage is all you can provide when faced with true uncertainty since reason provides no answers. That search for any purpose, meaning or answers to these relentless uncertainties is a fools errand that surely will be your undoing, prideful courage is a facade that mocks you. Knowing these burdens are not prevalent in the majority of others, purposely suppressed causes you to further establish your inner turmoil as insignificant. * “Some are called for their gregariousness. Some are called for their suffering. Others are called for their loneliness. “They are called by God because through the vessel of communication, they can reach out and hold beating hearts in their hands. They are called because of their all-consuming knowledge of the emptiness of all things that can only be filled presence of our Savior.”* Everlasting crisis until your very last moments when then just maybe, you could be given the chance to for a fraction of salvation. A sensation not felt, a concept not recognized outwardly and chances are you won’t experience it until it’s far too late but what else is there to pursue, if not that? *“When I read these words I see not truth but pride. I wish I had not used the word pride, but I cannot cross it out. If only I could pray” *