Aftersun

This film means absolutely everything to me. After losing my father in September last year due to suicide, watching it again this time round crushed me even more. I hadn't spoken to him before hand in roughly around 6 years, after I had to leave him due to unfortunate events. I never knew what I was going to say to him if we were ever to meet again, so I postponed a reunion or any form of contact with him. The first time I saw this film around 2+ years ago I new that one day I was gonna show this film to him. Movies were something me and my dad use to bond over, he had shown me some of his absolute favourites and intrigued me into his world of cinema. I had for so long wished I could return the favor, and show him something that would change his life, and continue the love we had for movies. It was only until I was told about this film from a very close and dear friend that she said would demolish me into pieces, but love at the same time. So for the first time I watched Aftersun. I had never felt something capture a duality of a parent and child dynamic so unbelievably close to me, that I for sure thought my dad would appreciate. I then proceeded to watch it again with my Nan, as well as again with some very close friends, and again this time round with even more close friends who attended my fathers funeral with me. Having them there this time and I, only been told the cause of my father's death about a month ago just caused me to utterly break down. I can't imagine or even begin to think what my father thought of me in his last few days of life? Whether he still did truly loved and remembered me, or if he forgot me completely. I also wonder if this film would've served as much comfort and justice that it did for me, and if he would've cherished it as much as I did. I'll never get to know, I'll never be able to ask him, I'll only ever get to talk about him. So I'll keep doing that as much as I can, by showing the closest people around me this film.