Aftersun

i spent the majority of this film anticipating something, a stark occurrence or a traumatic standout event. by doing this i think i missed the main piece of subtext, and it’s only until after finishing the film and reflecting over it to which i think i understand.  throughout the film we are given subtle but reoccurring notion of the dad’s struggle. what with we are not entirely sure, it is never distinctly revealed, other than the assumption that he struggles with depression. i’m aware of some ‘theories’, if you will, that he ends up committing suicide shortly after dropping sophie off. others reveal that he ends up abandoning sophie among all his guilt of having a child at too young an age, an age of which he believes he cannot substantially support her and give her the life she deserves. whilst i’m not sure if i’d believe he’d abandon her the latter stands. he’s engrossed and absorbed by depressive ideation he struggles to be entirely there for his daughter. physically he’s present but somethings missing. these are not my words but he try’s to strive himself on giving sophie the world, though she doesn’t need the world, she needs her dad. she’s subtly aware of her dads struggle but not entirely, how could she be, shes a kid? the comment about not wanting him to offer her things he can’t afford (singing lessons in this instance) shows her accute awareness of his struggle. offering things he doesn’t physically have in order to gratify sophie, give her a happy life. by no means does this mean he is absent or any less of a father, we are shown how much he loves and cares for sophie by his rewatching of his video tapes; a moment frozen in time displaying happy, blissful moments. rather he is constantly reminded of his looming thoughts of melancholy and depression, seen through shots of him among strobing lights, in his battle against self to be there for sophie. it’s only when we see sophie as an adult that along with her we see her awareness of her fathers pain and how she missed it when she was child. the last dance scene perveys sophie’s  recognition of this as along with him she dances with him among strobe lights. whilst notably this being the last time she dances with, or potentially ever sees her dad. a film that forefronts your own relationship with your parents, because their lives are not as simple as we may belive. maybe it will take until your older years to truly understand this. a beautiful film, if you’re not paying close enough attention you may miss it. i assume i’ll love this even more when i watch it the second time.