BEEF

“You are fucking proof that Western therapy does not work on Eastern minds.” Western therapy did not work for me indeed, but this one replaced it with laughter therapy. This was a rollercoaster of laughter. Half of my laughter was “haha, funny!” while the other half was “this feels all too familiar that it makes me uncomfortable.” The childhood flashback scenes hit a nerve because I’ve seen the trails left by those events unfold before me growing up Asian. While I wasn’t directly affected, I’ve seen people in real life who had bits of Amy and Danny. Beef wasn’t afraid to be blunt. To be messy. Despite the widely held belief that we are a submissive, perfect model minority. I grew up being taught the Filipino value of “hiya” or shame to avoid smearing the honor on my family name. We are able to look flawless to outsiders with a price: we come home tired from holding our composure and take it out on those who are dearest to us. I don’t know if I should be comforted or alarmed that this is a common Asian-American experience. We bring it with us wherever we go. Road rage is nothing out of the ordinary in Manila. Because I couldn’t drive in Manila when I visited last summer, my closest experience to road rage was almost getting hit as a pedestrian the moment I stepped off the airport because the drivers were assholes. I often wondered why there were more asshole Filipino drivers than asshole American drivers. Americans are generous with paving the right of way, while Filipinos don’t give a fuck about pedestrians and road rules. Beef makes it clear that being an asshole isn’t an excuse, but it explains why there are assholes. Filipino drivers are tired from their long hours (including traffic hours) along the narrow roads of Manila. They’re tired of perpetually long lines for commuting and basic errands—they’re just tired from surviving. They bring their frustrations not just to the roads but also to their homes, as well as their new homes abroad. Woah this was a long ramble, I’m just glad that the new generations are slowly gaining awareness and healing from generational trauma. :)