Lumina

Lumina is the kind of movie that makes you question every life choice that led you to pressing play. It looks cheap, it sounds cheap, and somehow manages to feel both overlong and incomplete. The acting is community-theater bad, the dialogue is AI-mad-lib nonsense, and the “plot” is a black hole where ideas go to die. Not even “so bad it’s good,” just soul-crushingly dull. If cinema were a crime, this would be evidence of it.

Lumina is the kind of movie that makes you question every life choice that led you to pressing play. It looks cheap, it sounds cheap, and somehow manages to feel both overlong and incomplete. The acting is community-theater bad, the dialogue is AI-mad-lib nonsense, and the “plot” is a black hole where ideas go to die. Not even “so bad it’s good,” just soul-crushingly dull. If cinema were a crime, this would be evidence of it.

DNF

Jesus Christ learn how to hold a camera steady

DNF

Jesus Christ learn how to hold a camera steady

talk about a disasterpiece! it's incredible that a film this bad would get a theatrical release in 2024. 

this was reminiscent of the sci-fi channel (Syfy) original movies, and for that i sort of loved it in a, "this is so awful it's entertaining way."

I laughed, like a lot - more than I have in actual comedic films. can't wait to see this run away with the razzies.

talk about a disasterpiece! it's incredible that a film this bad would get a theatrical release in 2024. 

this was reminiscent of the sci-fi channel (Syfy) original movies, and for that i sort of loved it in a, "this is so awful it's entertaining way."

I laughed, like a lot - more than I have in actual comedic films. can't wait to see this run away with the razzies.

Guantanamo Bay has found their newest torture device, but they had to make sure it was effective so they released it in theaters.

Guantanamo Bay has found their newest torture device, but they had to make sure it was effective so they released it in theaters.