This was one of the most drug trips ever. I don’t even know where to begin, the characters, the plot (or lack there of)?
Started quite normal with politicians doing law stuff until suddenly there’s radio silence, its night time and they’re stuck in the woods surrounded by marsh zombies who are just masturbating for go knows what reason. Of course it gets better because they explode after they’ve finished. The random giant brain just in the woods was something, naturally it came with its own brain lady who is Irish? And also canada’s ex? Of course Irish brain lady could only speak Swedish which makes total sense. Then she sets the brain and herself on fire for no particular reason. Then Canada gets a text from a child who is actually an AI pedo catcher which leads them back to the G7 summit house. Then everyone is given potassium cyanide pills and Canada performs a speech to a burning world of marsh zombies (still masturbating) about Brain lady’s idea of building a giant European sundial. Which was quite beautifully detailed by the addition of PowerPoint slides of flags overlayed with a transparent fire gif. Then the movie ends and I was left wondering abt the things I do with my time.
Ranking of the politicians
1. Canada: think he was the main character and the main crash out, wanted to kill himself, was his birthday, and despite all his issues was the most useful person there
2. Germany: Upon hearing that Canada wants to kill himself decides the best thing to do is have sex with him on the forest floor. Despite this was also quite helpful in the situation.
3. Japan: helped at the end a little, by far the most normal so sad he never got to learn how to ride a horse
4. USA: had a British accent, and wanted to be assassinated. Spent most of the movie asleep having ptsd dreams of the war.
5. France: led them into the woods in the first place, started crashing out for literally no reason. His leg bone ‘evaporated’ and had to be wheelbarrowed around the whole time. Where did they get the wheelbarrow?
6. UK: had some sort of previous fling with Canada. was not at all helpful, just wanted to get the manuscript thing done instead of getting out of the woods. Kept spouting fun facts for no reason
7. Italy: literally did nothing except he kept pulling salami out of his pockets to feed to people, except the salami wasn’t covered it was just rawdogging in his pockets
Apparently this is a satire but tbh I couldn’t tell you what it’s a satire of it’s so devoid from any sense of reality. And I’m still unsure why at no point did any of these people call the police, their best idea was to pretend to be pedos so that the police would have to come and take them away like???
This is only getting a 2.5/5 because cate Blanchett looked good
This was one of the most drug trips ever. I don’t even know where to begin, the characters, the plot (or lack there of)?
Started quite normal with politicians doing law stuff until suddenly there’s radio silence, its night time and they’re stuck in the woods surrounded by marsh zombies who are just masturbating for go knows what reason. Of course it gets better because they explode after they’ve finished. The random giant brain just in the woods was something, naturally it came with its own brain lady who is Irish? And also canada’s ex? Of course Irish brain lady could only speak Swedish which makes total sense. Then she sets the brain and herself on fire for no particular reason. Then Canada gets a text from a child who is actually an AI pedo catcher which leads them back to the G7 summit house. Then everyone is given potassium cyanide pills and Canada performs a speech to a burning world of marsh zombies (still masturbating) about Brain lady’s idea of building a giant European sundial. Which was quite beautifully detailed by the addition of PowerPoint slides of flags overlayed with a transparent fire gif. Then the movie ends and I was left wondering abt the things I do with my time.
Ranking of the politicians
1. Canada: think he was the main character and the main crash out, wanted to kill himself, was his birthday, and despite all his issues was the most useful person there
2. Germany: Upon hearing that Canada wants to kill himself decides the best thing to do is have sex with him on the forest floor. Despite this was also quite helpful in the situation.
3. Japan: helped at the end a little, by far the most normal so sad he never got to learn how to ride a horse
4. USA: had a British accent, and wanted to be assassinated. Spent most of the movie asleep having ptsd dreams of the war.
5. France: led them into the woods in the first place, started crashing out for literally no reason. His leg bone ‘evaporated’ and had to be wheelbarrowed around the whole time. Where did they get the wheelbarrow?
6. UK: had some sort of previous fling with Canada. was not at all helpful, just wanted to get the manuscript thing done instead of getting out of the woods. Kept spouting fun facts for no reason
7. Italy: literally did nothing except he kept pulling salami out of his pockets to feed to people, except the salami wasn’t covered it was just rawdogging in his pockets
Apparently this is a satire but tbh I couldn’t tell you what it’s a satire of it’s so devoid from any sense of reality. And I’m still unsure why at no point did any of these people call the police, their best idea was to pretend to be pedos so that the police would have to come and take them away like???
This is only getting a 2.5/5 because cate Blanchett looked good
