first of all, it felt almost poetic that i watched this on valentine’s day. the title matched the mood. the timing was impeccable, but the execution was catastrophic.
the movie starts with gina hating valentine’s day because it falls on her birthday. okay. fair enough. that’s actually a decent setup. growing up with heart-shaped balloons instead of birthday banners? your friends ditching you for their partners once you’re older? mildly tragic. we could’ve worked with that.
but instead of building something layered or funny or even emotionally coherent, the film just spirals into nonsense.
gina as a protagonist was exhausting. she’s written like a checklist of “cool girl” clichés. loves sports, hates salads, worships greasy burgers, constantly reminds everyone she’s not like other girls. and it’s not ironic. it’s played straight. i was tired.
and the supporting cast? equally unlikable. the only person i remotely tolerated was her mother. and speaking of her mother — why was she played by marisa tomei? an oscar winner. in this. for what? where did the budget go? because it clearly didn’t go to the script.
actually — maybe it did go to her. because why were the pizzas cgi?
i need to talk about this.
they cgi’d the pizzas. multiple times. noticeably. distractingly. i don’t understand the financial breakdown of this film. we have real-life greece, but fake-looking food, and somehow also an academy award–winning actress in a supporting role. make it make sense.
and then the plot. oh my god, the plot.
so last year, gina accidentally gives a $5,000 (because she thought it was actually $50) greece resort voucher to johnny, the owner of a pizzeria, instead of paying for her birthday pizza. okay. absurd, but fine. fast forward a year: she goes to the same resort with andrew, her boyfriend of one year, who plans to propose.
she doesn’t want andrew to know about the voucher mistake, so she ropes johnny into lying. johnny brings his twin, mickey, who pretends to be his fiancée. identities blur. secrets pile up. chaos ensues.
but here’s where the movie completely lost me.
andrew and gina have been dating for a year. serious enough that they go to greece so he can get her mother's blessings and propose. and you’re telling me ONE day apart — one single day — is enough for andrew to cheat on her with mickey?
one day.
dude. you were about to propose.
and gina herself almost kisses johnny. so apparently everyone’s loyalty evaporates within 24 hours of mediterranean air exposure. how did this relationship even survive a year if it collapses in a long weekend?
and the cheating. oh my god.
it gets treated like a minor inconvenience. like someone forgot sunscreen. gina is upset for approximately five business minutes. then she’s laughing about it with her mom the next day. excuse me? you were about to get engaged.
either you never loved him, or the script forgot that emotions exist.
and then — the joint wedding idea. a joint wedding. with the man who cheated on you. because mickey and johnny are twins.
no.
i don’t care how identical they are. i would not share a wedding venue with my ex who folded in less than 24 hours. absolutely not. the emotional detachment in this movie is unreal.
nothing feels earned. nothing feels real. every conflict dissolves instantly. consequences don’t exist. the green screen is distracting. the food is fake. the stakes are nonexistent. it feels like a fever dream stitched together with rom-com clichés and a travel brochure for greece.
rating: 1/10 (because i cannot possibly go lower on letterboxd)
messy. illogical. emotionally hollow.
a romcom where no one seems to actually care about each other — and somehow we’re supposed to. there was nothing redeemable about this movie.
the only consistent thing in the movie was the cgi pizza. and even that didn’t look convincing.
first of all, it felt almost poetic that i watched this on valentine’s day. the title matched the mood. the timing was impeccable, but the execution was catastrophic.
the movie starts with gina hating valentine’s day because it falls on her birthday. okay. fair enough. that’s actually a decent setup. growing up with heart-shaped balloons instead of birthday banners? your friends ditching you for their partners once you’re older? mildly tragic. we could’ve worked with that.
but instead of building something layered or funny or even emotionally coherent, the film just spirals into nonsense.
gina as a protagonist was exhausting. she’s written like a checklist of “cool girl” clichés. loves sports, hates salads, worships greasy burgers, constantly reminds everyone she’s not like other girls. and it’s not ironic. it’s played straight. i was tired.
and the supporting cast? equally unlikable. the only person i remotely tolerated was her mother. and speaking of her mother — why was she played by marisa tomei? an oscar winner. in this. for what? where did the budget go? because it clearly didn’t go to the script.
actually — maybe it did go to her. because why were the pizzas cgi?
i need to talk about this.
they cgi’d the pizzas. multiple times. noticeably. distractingly. i don’t understand the financial breakdown of this film. we have real-life greece, but fake-looking food, and somehow also an academy award–winning actress in a supporting role. make it make sense.
and then the plot. oh my god, the plot.
so last year, gina accidentally gives a $5,000 (because she thought it was actually $50) greece resort voucher to johnny, the owner of a pizzeria, instead of paying for her birthday pizza. okay. absurd, but fine. fast forward a year: she goes to the same resort with andrew, her boyfriend of one year, who plans to propose.
she doesn’t want andrew to know about the voucher mistake, so she ropes johnny into lying. johnny brings his twin, mickey, who pretends to be his fiancée. identities blur. secrets pile up. chaos ensues.
but here’s where the movie completely lost me.
andrew and gina have been dating for a year. serious enough that they go to greece so he can get her mother's blessings and propose. and you’re telling me ONE day apart — one single day — is enough for andrew to cheat on her with mickey?
one day.
dude. you were about to propose.
and gina herself almost kisses johnny. so apparently everyone’s loyalty evaporates within 24 hours of mediterranean air exposure. how did this relationship even survive a year if it collapses in a long weekend?
and the cheating. oh my god.
it gets treated like a minor inconvenience. like someone forgot sunscreen. gina is upset for approximately five business minutes. then she’s laughing about it with her mom the next day. excuse me? you were about to get engaged.
either you never loved him, or the script forgot that emotions exist.
and then — the joint wedding idea. a joint wedding. with the man who cheated on you. because mickey and johnny are twins.
no.
i don’t care how identical they are. i would not share a wedding venue with my ex who folded in less than 24 hours. absolutely not. the emotional detachment in this movie is unreal.
nothing feels earned. nothing feels real. every conflict dissolves instantly. consequences don’t exist. the green screen is distracting. the food is fake. the stakes are nonexistent. it feels like a fever dream stitched together with rom-com clichés and a travel brochure for greece.
rating: 1/10 (because i cannot possibly go lower on letterboxd)
messy. illogical. emotionally hollow.
a romcom where no one seems to actually care about each other — and somehow we’re supposed to. there was nothing redeemable about this movie.
the only consistent thing in the movie was the cgi pizza. and even that didn’t look convincing.
