I like giving some of the “Worst movies ever made” chances and stuff like this is why.

Look I’m not saying it’s a masterpiece or anything, I can see how some might have problems with it. Especially with the main plot revolving around a preteen trying to have a romance with someone probably five or more years older (well the characters, who knows about the actors 😬). And Juice ain’t exactly the most intimidating bad guy. The patrons of The Toughest Bar In Town could have easily taken care of him, and well I think that would have been better because I don’t think he got the comeuppance he truly deserved at the end.

But I cannot deny I had a smile watching these gross characters causing their mayhem and making messes. This is pure 80s so bad it’s good madness! I would have liked to have seen more of these guys, maybe a sequel or two. I especially loved Ali Gator and his weird obsession with eating toes, and other parts apparently. Dang, this was a kids movie?

So overall, in my eyes it was not the disaster most people made it out to be. Kind of wish I discovered this earlier, kid version of me would have worn that VHS out!

I like giving some of the “Worst movies ever made” chances and stuff like this is why.

Look I’m not saying it’s a masterpiece or anything, I can see how some might have problems with it. Especially with the main plot revolving around a preteen trying to have a romance with someone probably five or more years older (well the characters, who knows about the actors 😬). And Juice ain’t exactly the most intimidating bad guy. The patrons of The Toughest Bar In Town could have easily taken care of him, and well I think that would have been better because I don’t think he got the comeuppance he truly deserved at the end.

But I cannot deny I had a smile watching these gross characters causing their mayhem and making messes. This is pure 80s so bad it’s good madness! I would have liked to have seen more of these guys, maybe a sequel or two. I especially loved Ali Gator and his weird obsession with eating toes, and other parts apparently. Dang, this was a kids movie?

So overall, in my eyes it was not the disaster most people made it out to be. Kind of wish I discovered this earlier, kid version of me would have worn that VHS out!

Dude, holy shit.

Dude, holy shit.

I think this is the worst movie I've ever seen, nothing about this movie was good, and only a couple things were passable.

Visually, this movie is genuinely repulsive. I was eating when this movie started, clearly a decision evident of some traumatic brain injury I must have sustained many moons ago, and my appetite was gone once the fuck ass titular Kids were introduced. Few things have induced such revulsion as Messy Tessie. I do not hate children, but I do hate that child. I was honestly praying that they would get squished to death, at least her. I cannot accurately express my hatred for that disgusting creature.

Narratively, the movie is just a mess. Are the Kids aliens? Is the Garbage Pail a spaceship? Why are they excellent seamstresses? Does Dodger have a family or is he some street urchin? Is the antique store owner a genuine actual wizard? Why is he trying to craft spells? Why is he always dressed like a guy from colonial-era America? I feel like they cut out something about him being immortal or something bc everything about that guy is so confusing. How old are each of the non disgusting children in this movie? I'd believe that Dodger is 14, but how old is everyone else? The actress that played Tangerine (stupid name sorry) was apparently 15 when they made this, is she meant to be like an 18 year old? She can drive by herself. How old are the kids that keep kicking Dodger's ass? They seem older than Tange but it's difficult to know why they care about kicking the ass of this 14 year old. Why did they make Tangerine so unlikeable in the second half of the movie? I thought she was kind of sympathetic although kind of a simpleton, but turned out to be this weird double crosser Cruella Deville type, which I thought was really bizarre. Why is one of the Kids just an alligator? Why is Greaser Greg even a Garbage Pail Kid? He's a criminal, not a disgusting monstrosity.

The music? This may as well have been AI generated 80s pop music. Maybe catchy a time or two, but so uninteresting that nothing may as well have been playing.

I am not joking at all when I say I'm very happy that outside of this movie, I am not familiar at all with the director's filmography. A movie this visually abominable and mentally draining as this movie is to watch should have blacklisted this man in Hollywood forever, and it seems like that's what happened, more or less, since he only went on to mostly direct the odd episode of a sitcom. Also? The way Tangerine is dressed in this movie is pretty weird considering her age, and the way she behaves is well above anything she should probably have been doing at her age. At the fashion show after the Kids.. checks notes rip the clothes off the models(?), the girls just seem to run around in circles in their underwear for the next five minutes. And unfortunately, because of some of the very prominently patterned undergarments they have one of the girls running around in, I spotted a continuity error where in one angle after a girl has been unceremoniously disrobed you can see her again back in her dress with a large split in the dress, likely designed to break away when pulled at. You can tell it's her because of the patterning of the underwear. I am not a freak, the director is for keeping these likely children on screen long enough for me to able to notice something like that. The scene in Airplane where there's all the commotion happening and the naked woman comes out and shakes her boobs for like three seconds directly in front of the camera was more tasteful than this scene.

Unfortunately there is one kind of funny thing in this movie, which is the State House for the Ugly, a prison designed to hold people so ugly they cannot be allowed to be among society. That is a concept on its own that is pretty funny to me, but everything else about this movie is so awful and spiritually disturbing that I will not ever subject myself to watching it again.

Fuck this movie, fuck you Rod Amateau (bro is dead and I don't give a shit), and most of all, FUCK YOU MESSY TESSIE. Your death will serve as a holiday to me.

I think this is the worst movie I've ever seen, nothing about this movie was good, and only a couple things were passable.

Visually, this movie is genuinely repulsive. I was eating when this movie started, clearly a decision evident of some traumatic brain injury I must have sustained many moons ago, and my appetite was gone once the fuck ass titular Kids were introduced. Few things have induced such revulsion as Messy Tessie. I do not hate children, but I do hate that child. I was honestly praying that they would get squished to death, at least her. I cannot accurately express my hatred for that disgusting creature.

Narratively, the movie is just a mess. Are the Kids aliens? Is the Garbage Pail a spaceship? Why are they excellent seamstresses? Does Dodger have a family or is he some street urchin? Is the antique store owner a genuine actual wizard? Why is he trying to craft spells? Why is he always dressed like a guy from colonial-era America? I feel like they cut out something about him being immortal or something bc everything about that guy is so confusing. How old are each of the non disgusting children in this movie? I'd believe that Dodger is 14, but how old is everyone else? The actress that played Tangerine (stupid name sorry) was apparently 15 when they made this, is she meant to be like an 18 year old? She can drive by herself. How old are the kids that keep kicking Dodger's ass? They seem older than Tange but it's difficult to know why they care about kicking the ass of this 14 year old. Why did they make Tangerine so unlikeable in the second half of the movie? I thought she was kind of sympathetic although kind of a simpleton, but turned out to be this weird double crosser Cruella Deville type, which I thought was really bizarre. Why is one of the Kids just an alligator? Why is Greaser Greg even a Garbage Pail Kid? He's a criminal, not a disgusting monstrosity.

The music? This may as well have been AI generated 80s pop music. Maybe catchy a time or two, but so uninteresting that nothing may as well have been playing.

I am not joking at all when I say I'm very happy that outside of this movie, I am not familiar at all with the director's filmography. A movie this visually abominable and mentally draining as this movie is to watch should have blacklisted this man in Hollywood forever, and it seems like that's what happened, more or less, since he only went on to mostly direct the odd episode of a sitcom. Also? The way Tangerine is dressed in this movie is pretty weird considering her age, and the way she behaves is well above anything she should probably have been doing at her age. At the fashion show after the Kids.. checks notes rip the clothes off the models(?), the girls just seem to run around in circles in their underwear for the next five minutes. And unfortunately, because of some of the very prominently patterned undergarments they have one of the girls running around in, I spotted a continuity error where in one angle after a girl has been unceremoniously disrobed you can see her again back in her dress with a large split in the dress, likely designed to break away when pulled at. You can tell it's her because of the patterning of the underwear. I am not a freak, the director is for keeping these likely children on screen long enough for me to able to notice something like that. The scene in Airplane where there's all the commotion happening and the naked woman comes out and shakes her boobs for like three seconds directly in front of the camera was more tasteful than this scene.

Unfortunately there is one kind of funny thing in this movie, which is the State House for the Ugly, a prison designed to hold people so ugly they cannot be allowed to be among society. That is a concept on its own that is pretty funny to me, but everything else about this movie is so awful and spiritually disturbing that I will not ever subject myself to watching it again.

Fuck this movie, fuck you Rod Amateau (bro is dead and I don't give a shit), and most of all, FUCK YOU MESSY TESSIE. Your death will serve as a holiday to me.

why was that clown locked up for being too silly

why was that clown locked up for being too silly

this movie is so bad it’s actually splitting the fabric of space and time 

it is PURE EVIL 

HEINOUS

this movie is so bad it’s actually splitting the fabric of space and time 

it is PURE EVIL 

HEINOUS