i found that the beginning of the movie was rather clunky, especially with the attack scene and the flashback of her sister’s death (not to mention the cgi during the symphony lol, but it was the 90s so). but it really finds its footing by the end of the first 1/3 of the movie. dumping my thoughts here:
- the main theme of the movie is mika growing up and realizing her sister was not all sunshine and rainbows; becoming mature enough to understand the deeper nuances behind her sister’s life and dealing with family issues and responsibilities she’s now faced with
- she initially tries to follow in the footsteps of her sister (the recital, the relay, the play) but slowly coming into herself and finding her own passions and talents outside what her sister did (that thing she said during the play where she’s swooping down the confetti; chizuko was the type who thrived in the spotlight, while mika prefers to be backstage, being able to see everyone from there)
- the theme of how chizuko was always hailed as the better sister because of her maturity & responsibility, while mika was the daydreamer always stuck in her head. but in a lot of ways, mika had her own good qualities. like the teacher said, there was more to worry about with chizuko who might have been parentified as a child, or put on a pedestal.
- mika herself growing more responsible and confident in herself, standing her ground, as life throws shit her way from petty drama at school to life-shaking revelations about her family. i feel this is most prevalent when she’s left alone at home when her mother falls ill, and when she has to organize her sister’s two-year anniversary memorial by herself :((
speaking of the memorial, the way no one could be there for her except her best friend? her mother was in the hospital, her dad’s off doing fuck whatever, and kaminaga is more focused on grieving what he had with chizuko than comforting mika. “even i know a little bit about myself, because i’ll be your age next year.” this is one of the lines that hit most for me — chizuko is stuck at that age, while we see mika grow up and reach turning points in life her sister never reached
this is definitely the turning point for mika effectively “growing up” — her standing up for herself against the girl who stole the lead role, coming into her own identity separate from chizuko, and learning the harsh reality of being an adult/becoming more independent
(visually it’s also shown in the way she presents herself in a more polished manner now, her messy hair combed down/pulled back and less childish outfits —- but still retaining her eclectic and dreamy style) (also her looking like a lost child on the floor as it’s revealed that her father has a mistress had me so sad :(()
- i feel like the presence of chizuko’s spirit is more symbolic of mika’s need for her to be there — most of what she says is likened to something mika knows she would have said, or chizuko verbalizing the observations mika herself had (i.e. the dad’s tie). but we never actually get to hear her thoughts beyond the surface level; the actress does a great job of being there in the silence, in the distance — in the hallway when mika is lost in her own life, in the rainy window across her former crush and sister — her face revealing a hint of all the feelings she will now never get to express. in this way, chizuko haunts the narrative; in both the way she impacts her family’s lives but also in all the things she kept to herself.
- the ending where mika looks into the mirror and says goodbye to chizuko, who is now moving on — it’s almost symbolic of how she’s internalized the strength and courage she got from her sister and can now stand on her own. when her mom looks with her in the mirror, “you look just like chizuko. but you’re mika, my precious daughter.” this quote perfectly encapsulates the ending — mika with her long black hair, high school uniform, walking the path to school. she looks almost like a mirror image of chizuko; but she’s mika (not to mention her room’s finally fucking clean lol)
this movie has such a special place in my heart, no amount of words can encapsulate it. i’ve watched this at various points in my life and in a way, i feel i’ve grown with it — with every rewatch i notice new things and understand it more, relate to it in new ways. it’s such a perfect portrayal of grief and the way we keep our loved ones close to us even after their passing.
i found that the beginning of the movie was rather clunky, especially with the attack scene and the flashback of her sister’s death (not to mention the cgi during the symphony lol, but it was the 90s so). but it really finds its footing by the end of the first 1/3 of the movie. dumping my thoughts here:
- the main theme of the movie is mika growing up and realizing her sister was not all sunshine and rainbows; becoming mature enough to understand the deeper nuances behind her sister’s life and dealing with family issues and responsibilities she’s now faced with
- she initially tries to follow in the footsteps of her sister (the recital, the relay, the play) but slowly coming into herself and finding her own passions and talents outside what her sister did (that thing she said during the play where she’s swooping down the confetti; chizuko was the type who thrived in the spotlight, while mika prefers to be backstage, being able to see everyone from there)
- the theme of how chizuko was always hailed as the better sister because of her maturity & responsibility, while mika was the daydreamer always stuck in her head. but in a lot of ways, mika had her own good qualities. like the teacher said, there was more to worry about with chizuko who might have been parentified as a child, or put on a pedestal.
- mika herself growing more responsible and confident in herself, standing her ground, as life throws shit her way from petty drama at school to life-shaking revelations about her family. i feel this is most prevalent when she’s left alone at home when her mother falls ill, and when she has to organize her sister’s two-year anniversary memorial by herself :((
speaking of the memorial, the way no one could be there for her except her best friend? her mother was in the hospital, her dad’s off doing fuck whatever, and kaminaga is more focused on grieving what he had with chizuko than comforting mika. “even i know a little bit about myself, because i’ll be your age next year.” this is one of the lines that hit most for me — chizuko is stuck at that age, while we see mika grow up and reach turning points in life her sister never reached
this is definitely the turning point for mika effectively “growing up” — her standing up for herself against the girl who stole the lead role, coming into her own identity separate from chizuko, and learning the harsh reality of being an adult/becoming more independent
(visually it’s also shown in the way she presents herself in a more polished manner now, her messy hair combed down/pulled back and less childish outfits —- but still retaining her eclectic and dreamy style) (also her looking like a lost child on the floor as it’s revealed that her father has a mistress had me so sad :(()
- i feel like the presence of chizuko’s spirit is more symbolic of mika’s need for her to be there — most of what she says is likened to something mika knows she would have said, or chizuko verbalizing the observations mika herself had (i.e. the dad’s tie). but we never actually get to hear her thoughts beyond the surface level; the actress does a great job of being there in the silence, in the distance — in the hallway when mika is lost in her own life, in the rainy window across her former crush and sister — her face revealing a hint of all the feelings she will now never get to express. in this way, chizuko haunts the narrative; in both the way she impacts her family’s lives but also in all the things she kept to herself.
- the ending where mika looks into the mirror and says goodbye to chizuko, who is now moving on — it’s almost symbolic of how she’s internalized the strength and courage she got from her sister and can now stand on her own. when her mom looks with her in the mirror, “you look just like chizuko. but you’re mika, my precious daughter.” this quote perfectly encapsulates the ending — mika with her long black hair, high school uniform, walking the path to school. she looks almost like a mirror image of chizuko; but she’s mika (not to mention her room’s finally fucking clean lol)
this movie has such a special place in my heart, no amount of words can encapsulate it. i’ve watched this at various points in my life and in a way, i feel i’ve grown with it — with every rewatch i notice new things and understand it more, relate to it in new ways. it’s such a perfect portrayal of grief and the way we keep our loved ones close to us even after their passing.
