It feels like Grandma's boy if it didn't have balls; like the heart is there and it's cute, but it feels inauthenticly edgy. Like if you had a teacher in school who would let you be a little weird and write papers on MMA or do anime art projects or give a presentation on why anarchy is the best political philosophy. You can wild out quite a bit, but in the end it's still school and you can't turn your freak up to 100%. This movie feels a little stifled; it wants to go full balls out, but there is still a studio to answer to, a studio under Paramount. They'll let you hire McLovin and the Dr. Cox, they'll let you show characters smoking weed if you let them sneak in Halo and Dorrito product placement, and you can even say "fuck" and "cum", maybe even a tit or two, but at the end of the day, it's a bunch of stiffs running the company and they have stock holders to answer to. Why do you think the movie sat on the shelf for four years before it was quietly slid onto VOD (seeing it on Paramount plus yesterday was the first time I even knew it existed, which is weird seeing how many legitimate people on the cast)? This is Scary Movie 5, when you can tell they wanted to make Scary Movie 2. The spark is there, but it's clearly being snuffed before it grows to a full flame. It's funny sometimes and I definitely didn't hate it, but it's like receiving a plain garden salad with no cheese and no dressing, but you can see the fully fucking stocked salad bar on the other side of the restaurant and even though you can be content with what you have in front of you, you keep looking over and seeing all the shit they could have given you. Yeah, this is some freshly cut and washed iceberg in front of me, but I see the ripped up turkey lunch meat and shredded colby jack cheese you have over there that you could have given me. I see the six different Sysco salad dressings and croutons. What you gave me was fine, but there was so much more you could have done for me. I want the version of this movie that is the equivalent to letting the fucked up 20 year old fry cook making my salad, where it's 80% meat and cheese and 20% mixed greens and half a bottle of Newman's ranch drenching the whole thing.
It feels like Grandma's boy if it didn't have balls; like the heart is there and it's cute, but it feels inauthenticly edgy. Like if you had a teacher in school who would let you be a little weird and write papers on MMA or do anime art projects or give a presentation on why anarchy is the best political philosophy. You can wild out quite a bit, but in the end it's still school and you can't turn your freak up to 100%. This movie feels a little stifled; it wants to go full balls out, but there is still a studio to answer to, a studio under Paramount. They'll let you hire McLovin and the Dr. Cox, they'll let you show characters smoking weed if you let them sneak in Halo and Dorrito product placement, and you can even say "fuck" and "cum", maybe even a tit or two, but at the end of the day, it's a bunch of stiffs running the company and they have stock holders to answer to. Why do you think the movie sat on the shelf for four years before it was quietly slid onto VOD (seeing it on Paramount plus yesterday was the first time I even knew it existed, which is weird seeing how many legitimate people on the cast)? This is Scary Movie 5, when you can tell they wanted to make Scary Movie 2. The spark is there, but it's clearly being snuffed before it grows to a full flame. It's funny sometimes and I definitely didn't hate it, but it's like receiving a plain garden salad with no cheese and no dressing, but you can see the fully fucking stocked salad bar on the other side of the restaurant and even though you can be content with what you have in front of you, you keep looking over and seeing all the shit they could have given you. Yeah, this is some freshly cut and washed iceberg in front of me, but I see the ripped up turkey lunch meat and shredded colby jack cheese you have over there that you could have given me. I see the six different Sysco salad dressings and croutons. What you gave me was fine, but there was so much more you could have done for me. I want the version of this movie that is the equivalent to letting the fucked up 20 year old fry cook making my salad, where it's 80% meat and cheese and 20% mixed greens and half a bottle of Newman's ranch drenching the whole thing.
