"don't forget, you're here forever"
not a quote from the movie but it was a thought that circulated throughout my brain for the entirety of the film. the hopeless nihilistic atmosphere, perverted edginess, and nauseating camera work & quality left me empty. i can't attribute positive words for this film, yet it still pulled me in with all the same reasons as to why its disgusting.
Watching these characters made me feel gross, because i could see even a fragment of myself in them. it was similar to my experience reading goodnight punpun's second half, gross. the film made me remind myself that i'm here forever, that i can never remove those parts.
like the people of this film's reaction to 9/11, i felt the same way seeing the genocide in gaza. nothing i could do about it, so i scroll past the donation links and tiktoks of people asking for money. if i stayed for just a minute, i maybe could've helped save someones life, but i didn't. i forgot how many i've scrolled past, similar to the feelings ive had before about people just "scrolling" past me in a way. if u get what i mean.
people will forget about me like how i forgot how much i forget about how many chances ive had to help someone and how much i've seen of the destruction in palestine.
"But they'll soon forget the me on the screen... like how i forgot those corpses"