I shit you not, I am almost in tears because of how bad they butchered the sequel to one of the greatest masterpieces in cinema. I would give up alcohol to rid the world of this atrocious debauchery. This is going to be a long rant so buckle up. Firstly, I hate the teenage girl, horrendous writing for her part, like the whole I can do anything girl boss trope is an insane pet peeve of mine and she has no real direction in the movie, no drive, yeah her parents die but they literally only mentioned that once in a flashback. She’s like 12 and somehow knows how to build a jaeger from literal garbage then when she finally got it to work she somehow miraculously knows how to pilot it then she’s unwillingly thrust into some weird jaeger JROTC bullshit where there’s like teenage drama and shit. Like fuck man, what the hell are we even doing here. Hated her but also hated Mr. Pentecost as well, a British accented bitch boy who somehow was the son of Marshal Pentecost who wasn’t British like at all and he’s also Makos brother that was never mentioned. In one scene, he said he stole a MK. 4 jaeger and piloted it which is stupid as hell, it undermines the first movie a lot. They tried to leech off of legacy characters like Pentecost and Mako but somehow Raleigh is literally nowhere to be found, we know he ain’t dead because he would’ve been on the dead rangers board we see in the film. Fuck this movie. They also add a bunch of other characters I’m supposed to give a shit about but they are so uninteresting it’s like watching a baby drool. They ruined one of my favorite characters Newt by making him like possessed or some shit by the precursors which makes no fucking sense and I want to blow my shit smooth off. They made him have some weird sexual relationship with a Kaiju brain which made me want to drink bleach. Another thing is this movie is straight up boring. The first fight happened literally 35 minutes into the movie and it was robot on robot, like I didn’t come here for transformers bro and in that fight they killed off Mako because why the hell not. Then there’s a few small fights then the big one at the end which is the only actual mid part in the entire movie. Another big problem is the jaegers move like humans now, super fast and nimble, like they aren’t moving thousands of tons of metal. Also also, they probably had hundreds of Jaegers made but somehow only 4 survived the main attack and all the pilots died. We literally only see 2 pilots die, another Jaegers head was ripped off and it definitely looked like the pilots could’ve been good plus there’s no way they didn’t have backup pilots but no, they had to rely on these fucking kids to save the day, holy cow this movie is so stupid. Oh also the kids rebuilt the Jaegers, they are the literal incarnation of Jesus. Fuck I hate this movie. They somehow conveniently get multiple Jaegers back up to functionality after one no shit was beheaded and another was pulverized just I time for the scientist to magically figure out the secret krabby patty formula to rocket fuel that he had been working on for a fucking decade. Fuck, I hate this movie. Side note, people are better at drifting if they have a strong physical and emotional connection like family members and spouses not just anyone and it takes time to build such a connection. This movie just said fuck all that and said oh kids can do it because they’re kids, What. The. Fuck. Absolutely demolished and shit on one of the biggest and coolest parts of the original. The neural connection was something that was hard to come by but they really did just say fuck all that, thinking is hard and shit out this garbage. Ok, moving along, the final battle sequence. The God damn final battle sequence is pretty bad but before we even get their they made a connection that saw that all Kaiju had been trying to get to Mt. Fuji which makes no sense since there were attacks all over the world in the first one so there was no pattern really. Like one attacked San Francisco and another attacked Melbourne. Literally the opposite side of the world my guy, you fucking moron, fuck you. Also they had stated that they never knew the precursor’s intentions but in the original its stated that they are planet feeders that consume planets then move to the next and they can live here because we terraformed the earth with pollution already so you can wipe your ass with all of that and the literal reason why the Kaiju are going to Mt. Fuji. This movie is so fucking stupid, fuck this movie. Ok, the final fight. The monsters roar sounds like someone belching which lowkey pissed me off more than it should have. The final battle is fought in Tokyo with Mt. Fuji looming large in the background which is fucking stupid because Mt. Fuji is about 50 miles away. Like I’m currently at the foot of Mt. Fuji and it would take me about 2 hours to get to Tokyo and you definitely can’t see the mountain from the city so unless they figured out how to move an entire mountain then that’s wrong. Also Mt. Fuji isn’t an active volcano, I don’t know why it showed it had lava in it. Fuck this movie. There’s so much more I want to rant about but I hit the major parts I needed to get off my chest. Onto the good. The big Kaiju looked kinda cool, all right that’s all I got good to say about this film. I hated it with every fiber of my being, I wish this never was made, I swear to all that is good and holy that if I ever find the creator of this movie, I will do unspeakable things to him, things people wouldn’t wish upon their worst enemies. Fuck this movie and anyone who had anything to do with this movie, I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now. It hate this movie but I’ll probably watch it again because I have no self dignity.
Fuck this movie
I shit you not, I am almost in tears because of how bad they butchered the sequel to one of the greatest masterpieces in cinema. I would give up alcohol to rid the world of this atrocious debauchery. This is going to be a long rant so buckle up. Firstly, I hate the teenage girl, horrendous writing for her part, like the whole I can do anything girl boss trope is an insane pet peeve of mine and she has no real direction in the movie, no drive, yeah her parents die but they literally only mentioned that once in a flashback. She’s like 12 and somehow knows how to build a jaeger from literal garbage then when she finally got it to work she somehow miraculously knows how to pilot it then she’s unwillingly thrust into some weird jaeger JROTC bullshit where there’s like teenage drama and shit. Like fuck man, what the hell are we even doing here. Hated her but also hated Mr. Pentecost as well, a British accented bitch boy who somehow was the son of Marshal Pentecost who wasn’t British like at all and he’s also Makos brother that was never mentioned. In one scene, he said he stole a MK. 4 jaeger and piloted it which is stupid as hell, it undermines the first movie a lot. They tried to leech off of legacy characters like Pentecost and Mako but somehow Raleigh is literally nowhere to be found, we know he ain’t dead because he would’ve been on the dead rangers board we see in the film. Fuck this movie. They also add a bunch of other characters I’m supposed to give a shit about but they are so uninteresting it’s like watching a baby drool. They ruined one of my favorite characters Newt by making him like possessed or some shit by the precursors which makes no fucking sense and I want to blow my shit smooth off. They made him have some weird sexual relationship with a Kaiju brain which made me want to drink bleach. Another thing is this movie is straight up boring. The first fight happened literally 35 minutes into the movie and it was robot on robot, like I didn’t come here for transformers bro and in that fight they killed off Mako because why the hell not. Then there’s a few small fights then the big one at the end which is the only actual mid part in the entire movie. Another big problem is the jaegers move like humans now, super fast and nimble, like they aren’t moving thousands of tons of metal. Also also, they probably had hundreds of Jaegers made but somehow only 4 survived the main attack and all the pilots died. We literally only see 2 pilots die, another Jaegers head was ripped off and it definitely looked like the pilots could’ve been good plus there’s no way they didn’t have backup pilots but no, they had to rely on these fucking kids to save the day, holy cow this movie is so stupid. Oh also the kids rebuilt the Jaegers, they are the literal incarnation of Jesus. Fuck I hate this movie. They somehow conveniently get multiple Jaegers back up to functionality after one no shit was beheaded and another was pulverized just I time for the scientist to magically figure out the secret krabby patty formula to rocket fuel that he had been working on for a fucking decade. Fuck, I hate this movie. Side note, people are better at drifting if they have a strong physical and emotional connection like family members and spouses not just anyone and it takes time to build such a connection. This movie just said fuck all that and said oh kids can do it because they’re kids, What. The. Fuck. Absolutely demolished and shit on one of the biggest and coolest parts of the original. The neural connection was something that was hard to come by but they really did just say fuck all that, thinking is hard and shit out this garbage. Ok, moving along, the final battle sequence. The God damn final battle sequence is pretty bad but before we even get their they made a connection that saw that all Kaiju had been trying to get to Mt. Fuji which makes no sense since there were attacks all over the world in the first one so there was no pattern really. Like one attacked San Francisco and another attacked Melbourne. Literally the opposite side of the world my guy, you fucking moron, fuck you. Also they had stated that they never knew the precursor’s intentions but in the original its stated that they are planet feeders that consume planets then move to the next and they can live here because we terraformed the earth with pollution already so you can wipe your ass with all of that and the literal reason why the Kaiju are going to Mt. Fuji. This movie is so fucking stupid, fuck this movie. Ok, the final fight. The monsters roar sounds like someone belching which lowkey pissed me off more than it should have. The final battle is fought in Tokyo with Mt. Fuji looming large in the background which is fucking stupid because Mt. Fuji is about 50 miles away. Like I’m currently at the foot of Mt. Fuji and it would take me about 2 hours to get to Tokyo and you definitely can’t see the mountain from the city so unless they figured out how to move an entire mountain then that’s wrong. Also Mt. Fuji isn’t an active volcano, I don’t know why it showed it had lava in it. Fuck this movie. There’s so much more I want to rant about but I hit the major parts I needed to get off my chest. Onto the good. The big Kaiju looked kinda cool, all right that’s all I got good to say about this film. I hated it with every fiber of my being, I wish this never was made, I swear to all that is good and holy that if I ever find the creator of this movie, I will do unspeakable things to him, things people wouldn’t wish upon their worst enemies. Fuck this movie and anyone who had anything to do with this movie, I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now. It hate this movie but I’ll probably watch it again because I have no self dignity.
Fuck this movie
