“Song? Gimme me that bottle.”
Hands down the best piece of dialogue in this entire movie
It’s time for me to officially put my hater cap on because I really did not like Sean Penn’s The Crossing Guard. Maybe this has something to do with him still being a relatively “wet behind the ears” director at the time but I can’t find anything even somewhat redeemable, besides the rare funny moment, or piece of dialogue so bad I laugh at its existence. Everything just feels off and I can’t get behind any of it.
It almost feels like Penn just wrote a script to see a little acting workshop from some of his buddies. That clearly didn’t work out though because the performances aren’t good either, aside from Jack Nicholson who’s pretty much always going to give you a solid performance, though I believe his performances in both The Shining, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest are far better. The rest of the cast is just straight up bad in my opinion. David Moorse gives a straight up bizarre performance playing the most guilty guy who also looks like he doesn’t give a fuck about anything. It never really feels like he understands the level he needs to be at for a scene, as he’s either consistently doing too much or barely doing anything at all and none of it is convincing. Him and Piper Laurie also have no chemistry together and their onscreen relationship feels forced. Their intimate scenes standout as some of the worst moments of the entire film, the way that sex scene was shot and the “you have such a beautiful face” line had me wanting to turn away entirely.
There are no saving graces when it comes to the technical side either just more complaints. The score is frustrating as I think I would have liked it under different circumstances. It has kind of a similar vibe to the weird score of Punch-Drunk Love, but that movie has the weird music and sounds playing throughout most of the film. Where this movie actually has no music for a lot of its scenes but then bombards you with loud over the top music in dramatic moments. Seems like the score is almost telling you how to feel in moments of drama or despair but it comes off a lot more obnoxious than it is effective. Last but not least is the editing, whether it’s the transitions straight out of google slides, or the extreme over usage of slow-motion the editing room certainly isn’t doing this film any favors.
I don’t take any pleasure in just shitting on a film for the hell of it. In fact I think I’m normally pretty good a picking out at least something enjoyable even out of a movie I don’t like. Though for the life of me I just can’t find anything here and the whole creation of this film comes off perfunctory. 3/10
“Song? Gimme me that bottle.”
Hands down the best piece of dialogue in this entire movie
It’s time for me to officially put my hater cap on because I really did not like Sean Penn’s The Crossing Guard. Maybe this has something to do with him still being a relatively “wet behind the ears” director at the time but I can’t find anything even somewhat redeemable, besides the rare funny moment, or piece of dialogue so bad I laugh at its existence. Everything just feels off and I can’t get behind any of it.
It almost feels like Penn just wrote a script to see a little acting workshop from some of his buddies. That clearly didn’t work out though because the performances aren’t good either, aside from Jack Nicholson who’s pretty much always going to give you a solid performance, though I believe his performances in both The Shining, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest are far better. The rest of the cast is just straight up bad in my opinion. David Moorse gives a straight up bizarre performance playing the most guilty guy who also looks like he doesn’t give a fuck about anything. It never really feels like he understands the level he needs to be at for a scene, as he’s either consistently doing too much or barely doing anything at all and none of it is convincing. Him and Piper Laurie also have no chemistry together and their onscreen relationship feels forced. Their intimate scenes standout as some of the worst moments of the entire film, the way that sex scene was shot and the “you have such a beautiful face” line had me wanting to turn away entirely.
There are no saving graces when it comes to the technical side either just more complaints. The score is frustrating as I think I would have liked it under different circumstances. It has kind of a similar vibe to the weird score of Punch-Drunk Love, but that movie has the weird music and sounds playing throughout most of the film. Where this movie actually has no music for a lot of its scenes but then bombards you with loud over the top music in dramatic moments. Seems like the score is almost telling you how to feel in moments of drama or despair but it comes off a lot more obnoxious than it is effective. Last but not least is the editing, whether it’s the transitions straight out of google slides, or the extreme over usage of slow-motion the editing room certainly isn’t doing this film any favors.
I don’t take any pleasure in just shitting on a film for the hell of it. In fact I think I’m normally pretty good a picking out at least something enjoyable even out of a movie I don’t like. Though for the life of me I just can’t find anything here and the whole creation of this film comes off perfunctory. 3/10
