What was this?
Like I mean that legitimately maybe I had too much hope for it or something but like… this is not a “destroy all monsters” movie. This is a “the humans are going to take up 95% of the screen time by wasting time to figure out how to stop aliens from taking over the world and also from controlling all the monsters that live in Monsterland. Then in the final 10 minutes Godzilla, his CHUD son, anguirus, and gorosaurus of all monsters curb stop the ever living shit out of Ghidorah who just happened to show up to die. Oh and Mothra larva, the big ass spider, Varan, Rodan, and baragon are in the background too.” Long title but that’s what happens. It was such a disappointment to me knowing that this movie existed for years and never seeing it only to finally watch it 15 years after I’d heard about its existence and it was just this. The humans are boring, the aliens are boring, when the monster action FINALLY happens it’s just kind of there because it needed to be, and above all else this movie introduced a new monster the Fire Dragon! The FIRE DRAGON appears out of no where in the last 2 minutes, blows up a building, and then is killed by the humans. It’s also an optical effect the whole time, no suit, no physical object, just some swirly sharpie marker lines on the film.
I really didn’t like this, to the point that whatever score I have on my account that I gave Final Wars years ago will probably shoot way up because that’s the movie you want.
As a canonical conclusion to this era of Godzilla it’s a disappointment. The chronological conclusion by release date is Terror of Mechagodzilla which is also a disappointment so you’re fucked either way. I love this franchise, I love Godzilla, but sometimes man it’s just not worth it. Anyway the next era begins thank god and I’ve thankfully seen almost every Godzilla movie released in that era and all of the ones I’ve seen Im actually really excited to watch again.
Btw in case you’re curious my estimated screen time of each monster:
Godzilla - 9 minutes
CHUD son - 8 minutes
gorosaurus - 7 minutes
anguirus - 7 minutes
Ghidorah - 7 minutes (2 of which he’s laying there dead)
Mothra larva - 5 minutes
Big fuck ass spider - 3 minutes
Rodan - 3 minutes
Manda -1 minute
Baragon - 6 seconds
Varan - 5 seconds
This all translates to I’m happy I couldn’t find Frankenstein conquers the world streaming anywhere and I’m fucking pissed that I had to sit through the English dub of Varan for 5 god damn seconds of screen time.
Also the dub of this movie made me irrationally angry for the first 5 minutes because it showed gorosaurus attacking Paris right? Then 3 minutes later when a news anchor is talking about it he says it’s Baragon. Number 1 you just showed me gorosaurus attacking Paris so that just seems wrong and number 2 if gorosaurus left and baragon came to also attack Paris FUCKING SHOW ME THAT! Without that Baragon is in the movie for 6 god damn seconds.
I did not like this one.
What was this?
Like I mean that legitimately maybe I had too much hope for it or something but like… this is not a “destroy all monsters” movie. This is a “the humans are going to take up 95% of the screen time by wasting time to figure out how to stop aliens from taking over the world and also from controlling all the monsters that live in Monsterland. Then in the final 10 minutes Godzilla, his CHUD son, anguirus, and gorosaurus of all monsters curb stop the ever living shit out of Ghidorah who just happened to show up to die. Oh and Mothra larva, the big ass spider, Varan, Rodan, and baragon are in the background too.” Long title but that’s what happens. It was such a disappointment to me knowing that this movie existed for years and never seeing it only to finally watch it 15 years after I’d heard about its existence and it was just this. The humans are boring, the aliens are boring, when the monster action FINALLY happens it’s just kind of there because it needed to be, and above all else this movie introduced a new monster the Fire Dragon! The FIRE DRAGON appears out of no where in the last 2 minutes, blows up a building, and then is killed by the humans. It’s also an optical effect the whole time, no suit, no physical object, just some swirly sharpie marker lines on the film.
I really didn’t like this, to the point that whatever score I have on my account that I gave Final Wars years ago will probably shoot way up because that’s the movie you want.
As a canonical conclusion to this era of Godzilla it’s a disappointment. The chronological conclusion by release date is Terror of Mechagodzilla which is also a disappointment so you’re fucked either way. I love this franchise, I love Godzilla, but sometimes man it’s just not worth it. Anyway the next era begins thank god and I’ve thankfully seen almost every Godzilla movie released in that era and all of the ones I’ve seen Im actually really excited to watch again.
Btw in case you’re curious my estimated screen time of each monster:
Godzilla - 9 minutes
CHUD son - 8 minutes
gorosaurus - 7 minutes
anguirus - 7 minutes
Ghidorah - 7 minutes (2 of which he’s laying there dead)
Mothra larva - 5 minutes
Big fuck ass spider - 3 minutes
Rodan - 3 minutes
Manda -1 minute
Baragon - 6 seconds
Varan - 5 seconds
This all translates to I’m happy I couldn’t find Frankenstein conquers the world streaming anywhere and I’m fucking pissed that I had to sit through the English dub of Varan for 5 god damn seconds of screen time.
Also the dub of this movie made me irrationally angry for the first 5 minutes because it showed gorosaurus attacking Paris right? Then 3 minutes later when a news anchor is talking about it he says it’s Baragon. Number 1 you just showed me gorosaurus attacking Paris so that just seems wrong and number 2 if gorosaurus left and baragon came to also attack Paris FUCKING SHOW ME THAT! Without that Baragon is in the movie for 6 god damn seconds.
I did not like this one.
