Dorbees - Making Decisions

Ok just hear me out on this one it’s not that bad. Obviously the animation isnt it but like the story and especially the songs aren’t awful like just close your eyes and watch it. Im not religious nor do I usually watch religion based movies but this is kinda peak especially the song “Balls Just Wanna Grow Up”

Ok just hear me out on this one it’s not that bad. Obviously the animation isnt it but like the story and especially the songs aren’t awful like just close your eyes and watch it. Im not religious nor do I usually watch religion based movies but this is kinda peak especially the song “Balls Just Wanna Grow Up”

this movie has become something i enjoy unironically because of how funny bad it is… the music is actually really good though

also real talk do you guys think mr poe und yogul have explored each others bodies

this movie has become something i enjoy unironically because of how funny bad it is… the music is actually really good though

also real talk do you guys think mr poe und yogul have explored each others bodies

I feel like this whole movie is a figment of my imagination. Hell, describing it would sound like I made the whole darn thing up. Here goes nothing…

Imagine if in the 90s the son of a member of a somewhat popular gospel band decided to make a computer-generated Christian children’s film about morals but also about a superhero fighting French cows but also about two kids nearly dying both at school and an abandoned house but also about two southerners but also about an German immigrant trying to buy clothes, and that’s Dorbees: Making Decisions.

Crazy right? Well, it’s real.

Dorbees: Making Decisions is supposedly about that - learning to make the right decisions in your everyday life. And yet… it feels like it doesn’t try to teach that, and if it does it’s not doing a very good job. There’s too many plots going on (four? three? not too sure but I’ll go with three), there’s too many framing devices (two), and there’s too much filler. On top of that, in the film’s first three minutes you’re given the ultimate question: “why won’t they go away?”

To discern what Dorbees is about, we have to discuss every plot.

• Plot A: Jack and Mary-Jane Dorbee, two children who decide to skip school. They do (after finding out their school is LITERALLY A DEATH TRAP) and decide to visit an abandoned house. After exploring and meeting Elvis Dorbee and finding an Astro ball, they get stuck in the house and have to be rescued. According to the news reporter, they deserve it because they skipped school. Moral? Bad decisions have consequences, I guess?

• Plot B: Otto Dorbee, a fresh-off-the-boat German immigrant looking to shed his leiderhosen for some fresh clothes so he can fit into his new life. He goes to a store run by Digs, a Dorbee with a gold tooth, an afro made of TV static, and a fashion sense that yearns for the disco era. Digs does a whole musical number about how he’s the man for fashion. He has Otto try on some styles and Otto tells Digs that he considers the fashion salesman a friend. Digs, despite the opportunity to make a few bucks, then flat out tells Otto to give up and stick to his leiderhosen. The moral? Being brutally honest is the right decision… I guess? I dunno.

• Plot C: Mister Poe and Yogul are German superheroes starring in a public access TV show, and when we join them we’re given quite the predicament: Yogul has been captured by the evil (and French) Dr. Dairy (a cow), and Mr. Poe has to save his sidekick and the day. At one point after pulling items including an entire train out of his ass Mr. Poe is presented with three levers: Free Yogul, End World Hunger, and Create World Peace. Now, nothing really is stopping Mr. Poe from doing all three… but he only chooses to save Yogul (who is being jostled around while singing pop hits). They manage to defeat Dr. Dairy and escape by… shining car headlights in Dairy’s eyes and tipping them over. (Mr. Poe also pulls the car out of his ass.) I couldn’t guess the moral here.

These are all told using two framing devices. There’s Delta, an old Dorbee who plays the blues and his pal Fleck, a young Dorbee that is described as “CRAZY” (in big letters). Fleck appears throughout rambling about whatever seems to be on his mind in what seems to be a flow state of nothing.

The other device is a Dorbee who just… changes the channel, which suggests that the Mr. Poe plot and Delta framing device are both a show-in-a-show and that the skipping school and Otto plots are shows-in-a-show-in-a-show?

My biggest complaint is just how the storylines are laid out. It’s very confusing.

The things I do like about this are the musical numbers (including the jazz band of squirrels). Being the son of a gospel musician would definitely account for this, and it really is the only thing that shines in this.

The animation here is very… bizarre. It was 1998, so Veggietales had already made its presence and Pixar was working on Toy Story 2, but from what I gather the budget was obviously restrained and we got what we got.

It’s not terrible. Had it come out during 2010s YouTube? It may have thrived. The humor is there, the animation is there, perhaps it was just ahead of its time and on the wrong medium.

I’ve linked it above for the curious. Thank you.

I feel like this whole movie is a figment of my imagination. Hell, describing it would sound like I made the whole darn thing up. Here goes nothing…

Imagine if in the 90s the son of a member of a somewhat popular gospel band decided to make a computer-generated Christian children’s film about morals but also about a superhero fighting French cows but also about two kids nearly dying both at school and an abandoned house but also about two southerners but also about an German immigrant trying to buy clothes, and that’s Dorbees: Making Decisions.

Crazy right? Well, it’s real.

Dorbees: Making Decisions is supposedly about that - learning to make the right decisions in your everyday life. And yet… it feels like it doesn’t try to teach that, and if it does it’s not doing a very good job. There’s too many plots going on (four? three? not too sure but I’ll go with three), there’s too many framing devices (two), and there’s too much filler. On top of that, in the film’s first three minutes you’re given the ultimate question: “why won’t they go away?”

To discern what Dorbees is about, we have to discuss every plot.

• Plot A: Jack and Mary-Jane Dorbee, two children who decide to skip school. They do (after finding out their school is LITERALLY A DEATH TRAP) and decide to visit an abandoned house. After exploring and meeting Elvis Dorbee and finding an Astro ball, they get stuck in the house and have to be rescued. According to the news reporter, they deserve it because they skipped school. Moral? Bad decisions have consequences, I guess?

• Plot B: Otto Dorbee, a fresh-off-the-boat German immigrant looking to shed his leiderhosen for some fresh clothes so he can fit into his new life. He goes to a store run by Digs, a Dorbee with a gold tooth, an afro made of TV static, and a fashion sense that yearns for the disco era. Digs does a whole musical number about how he’s the man for fashion. He has Otto try on some styles and Otto tells Digs that he considers the fashion salesman a friend. Digs, despite the opportunity to make a few bucks, then flat out tells Otto to give up and stick to his leiderhosen. The moral? Being brutally honest is the right decision… I guess? I dunno.

• Plot C: Mister Poe and Yogul are German superheroes starring in a public access TV show, and when we join them we’re given quite the predicament: Yogul has been captured by the evil (and French) Dr. Dairy (a cow), and Mr. Poe has to save his sidekick and the day. At one point after pulling items including an entire train out of his ass Mr. Poe is presented with three levers: Free Yogul, End World Hunger, and Create World Peace. Now, nothing really is stopping Mr. Poe from doing all three… but he only chooses to save Yogul (who is being jostled around while singing pop hits). They manage to defeat Dr. Dairy and escape by… shining car headlights in Dairy’s eyes and tipping them over. (Mr. Poe also pulls the car out of his ass.) I couldn’t guess the moral here.

These are all told using two framing devices. There’s Delta, an old Dorbee who plays the blues and his pal Fleck, a young Dorbee that is described as “CRAZY” (in big letters). Fleck appears throughout rambling about whatever seems to be on his mind in what seems to be a flow state of nothing.

The other device is a Dorbee who just… changes the channel, which suggests that the Mr. Poe plot and Delta framing device are both a show-in-a-show and that the skipping school and Otto plots are shows-in-a-show-in-a-show?

My biggest complaint is just how the storylines are laid out. It’s very confusing.

The things I do like about this are the musical numbers (including the jazz band of squirrels). Being the son of a gospel musician would definitely account for this, and it really is the only thing that shines in this.

The animation here is very… bizarre. It was 1998, so Veggietales had already made its presence and Pixar was working on Toy Story 2, but from what I gather the budget was obviously restrained and we got what we got.

It’s not terrible. Had it come out during 2010s YouTube? It may have thrived. The humor is there, the animation is there, perhaps it was just ahead of its time and on the wrong medium.

I’ve linked it above for the curious. Thank you.