(i am about to get really, really vulnerable to 20 followers on letterboxd.)
I’ve put off watching this for almost 15 years.
If you know me, you know why.
Definitely the most emotionally engaged I’ve ever been with a film. It was hard to watch for me. Hard to get through.
As someone born with a stutter, every single day of my life is a mental game. I tell people all the time - where I admittedly take breathing, eating, seeing and walking for granted, most people in the world take speaking clearly without impediment for granted. I have let it hinder me from speaking in so many social settings it’s crazy. I still, admittedly, suffer from anxiety in these settings.
This film is the first film I’ve ever seen accurately depict someone with a stutter. Most films come across as distasteful in this sense. TKS does not.
The opening scene grabbed me so harshly. I empathized so viscerally with it. When watching this film, I see my struggle depicted before my eyes. It’s such a unique experience for me, and it was, to be transparent, tough to watch.
It was interesting - I, along with almost every single person with a stutter, attended so many speech therapy classes and courses growing up. Stretching a rubber band to slow down my speaking, physically stretching my muscles to calm down, the TONGUE TWISTERS UNLOCKED MEMORIES MAN, etc. Watching Bertie go through (more unorthodox, albeit) speech therapy to overcome his impediment was, again, pretty on the nose for me.
Another on-the-nose aspect of the film? The awkward pauses, and the occasional laughing from people while he struggled to get phrases out in time. To stutters, those moments feel like a lifetime. The teasing from those around him who don’t understand the mental beating stutterers already give themselves in the moment.
I see why some stutterers have issues with the narrative that Bertie was successful because he “overcame the stutter.” But what I deduced (and why film being subjective is so great) is that stutters CAN overcome the anxiety chokehold it has on them. Bertie did that.
Watching this was a lot of things. I was watching my every day life.
Cinematically, I see the criticisms. I don’t know if it deserved Best Picture over many deserving films in 2010.
But I don’t think anything will ever touch this film in my life. I felt seen for the first time in such a real sense.
I am overwhelmed.
(i am about to get really, really vulnerable to 20 followers on letterboxd.)
I’ve put off watching this for almost 15 years.
If you know me, you know why.
Definitely the most emotionally engaged I’ve ever been with a film. It was hard to watch for me. Hard to get through.
As someone born with a stutter, every single day of my life is a mental game. I tell people all the time - where I admittedly take breathing, eating, seeing and walking for granted, most people in the world take speaking clearly without impediment for granted. I have let it hinder me from speaking in so many social settings it’s crazy. I still, admittedly, suffer from anxiety in these settings.
This film is the first film I’ve ever seen accurately depict someone with a stutter. Most films come across as distasteful in this sense. TKS does not.
The opening scene grabbed me so harshly. I empathized so viscerally with it. When watching this film, I see my struggle depicted before my eyes. It’s such a unique experience for me, and it was, to be transparent, tough to watch.
It was interesting - I, along with almost every single person with a stutter, attended so many speech therapy classes and courses growing up. Stretching a rubber band to slow down my speaking, physically stretching my muscles to calm down, the TONGUE TWISTERS UNLOCKED MEMORIES MAN, etc. Watching Bertie go through (more unorthodox, albeit) speech therapy to overcome his impediment was, again, pretty on the nose for me.
Another on-the-nose aspect of the film? The awkward pauses, and the occasional laughing from people while he struggled to get phrases out in time. To stutters, those moments feel like a lifetime. The teasing from those around him who don’t understand the mental beating stutterers already give themselves in the moment.
I see why some stutterers have issues with the narrative that Bertie was successful because he “overcame the stutter.” But what I deduced (and why film being subjective is so great) is that stutters CAN overcome the anxiety chokehold it has on them. Bertie did that.
Watching this was a lot of things. I was watching my every day life.
Cinematically, I see the criticisms. I don’t know if it deserved Best Picture over many deserving films in 2010.
But I don’t think anything will ever touch this film in my life. I felt seen for the first time in such a real sense.
I am overwhelmed.
