this was not a perfect movie. it was, however, an impeccable portrayal of the lived queer experience as i know it. this film felt like looking into a mirror and a time capsule all at once. set in the mid 80s in sandusky, ohio- the conflicts eric faced were familiar in a sickeningly bittersweet manner. the attitude towards queerness as a whole and the shame he felt consequently made my heart ache.
i was thrust into the memory of being 17 in my hometown —a small village in rural pennsylvania whose complete social stagnation left it lost to the passage of time and progress. there is little that can be compared to the all-encompassing feeling of being entirely alone and surrounded by community simultaneously. edge of seventeen captured this loneliness with superb precision.
the slow recognition of internal truth and subsequent self-reckoning, finding your Self as you had always come to know it completely turned on its side and in contradiction to everything you had ever been told about your life & your future. coming to understand yourself and finding a freedom you never knew you lacked. the realization that not all community is good community. hiding these joys and these pains from those you love due to the shame that resides perpetually inside you.
the loneliness that comes from being loved, but not truly known.
the conversation that confirms the necessity to hide "you don't need to look like a freak." the yearning for solace. throwing away the freedom, the joys, and the pains on the off chance that you'll maybe, just maybe, be able to contend with acceptance above being known. it all falling apart. the loss. yearning for what could have been and all you lost in the process. embracing who you are in spite of it all.
GOD. applause. standing ovation.
the fact that there was no true resolution made this film feel all the more real. beautiful. giving this 5 stars simply because it feels like a portrait of my life. universal, lovingly constructed, and oh so human.
this was not a perfect movie. it was, however, an impeccable portrayal of the lived queer experience as i know it. this film felt like looking into a mirror and a time capsule all at once. set in the mid 80s in sandusky, ohio- the conflicts eric faced were familiar in a sickeningly bittersweet manner. the attitude towards queerness as a whole and the shame he felt consequently made my heart ache.
i was thrust into the memory of being 17 in my hometown —a small village in rural pennsylvania whose complete social stagnation left it lost to the passage of time and progress. there is little that can be compared to the all-encompassing feeling of being entirely alone and surrounded by community simultaneously. edge of seventeen captured this loneliness with superb precision.
the slow recognition of internal truth and subsequent self-reckoning, finding your Self as you had always come to know it completely turned on its side and in contradiction to everything you had ever been told about your life & your future. coming to understand yourself and finding a freedom you never knew you lacked. the realization that not all community is good community. hiding these joys and these pains from those you love due to the shame that resides perpetually inside you.
the loneliness that comes from being loved, but not truly known.
the conversation that confirms the necessity to hide "you don't need to look like a freak." the yearning for solace. throwing away the freedom, the joys, and the pains on the off chance that you'll maybe, just maybe, be able to contend with acceptance above being known. it all falling apart. the loss. yearning for what could have been and all you lost in the process. embracing who you are in spite of it all.
GOD. applause. standing ovation.
the fact that there was no true resolution made this film feel all the more real. beautiful. giving this 5 stars simply because it feels like a portrait of my life. universal, lovingly constructed, and oh so human.
