Clownado

terrifier level of gore how such a shitty film

terrifier level of gore how such a shitty film

okay misogynistic torture porn

okay misogynistic torture porn

Dumbest movie to exist. The sheer amount of gore is unneeded, the acting is on par with a grade 10 drama class full of a bunch of edgy dorks, and the storyline is laughable. The entire movie is laughable. If you can look past the disgustingness of seeing a woman clown’s boobs turn into mouths and eat someone, then you can see the hilarity of some scenes. Such as a POC Elvis impersonator who never breaks character and another (country) character saying “Elvis! Get yer black ass to the car!” while trying to escape the Clownado. Or maybe an actor with dwarfism playing a murderous clown baby. Or maybe the main antagonist doing an overly evil laugh every five minutes he’s on screen. The movie is horrible, but if you enjoy horrible movies then it’s definitely perfect. If you can make it past the first ten minutes, of course.

Dumbest movie to exist. The sheer amount of gore is unneeded, the acting is on par with a grade 10 drama class full of a bunch of edgy dorks, and the storyline is laughable. The entire movie is laughable. If you can look past the disgustingness of seeing a woman clown’s boobs turn into mouths and eat someone, then you can see the hilarity of some scenes. Such as a POC Elvis impersonator who never breaks character and another (country) character saying “Elvis! Get yer black ass to the car!” while trying to escape the Clownado. Or maybe an actor with dwarfism playing a murderous clown baby. Or maybe the main antagonist doing an overly evil laugh every five minutes he’s on screen. The movie is horrible, but if you enjoy horrible movies then it’s definitely perfect. If you can make it past the first ten minutes, of course.

Okay, full disclosure: I read the premise for this after coming across its DVD listing on Amazon a few days ago and was so perplexed by it that I told myself I had to see how it played out. I did not buy the DVD.

Clownado sounds like it’d be a part of the exploitation genre built by the massive success of the Sharknado franchise, and if you assume that you are absolutely correct. And yet despite having many of the same features as Sharknado - low budget effects, at least one name with a level of recognition (Linnea Quigley, of Return of the Living Dead fame, who shows up for two minutes in this film as a strip club owner), and said absurd premise - I feel like this falls somewhere way lower on the totem pole of low-budget filmmaking.

The gore in it is very good - I assume a lot of strawberry jam was used in the making of this? - and I liked some parts of this (a black Elvis impersonator does far more karate than Austin Butler did as the actual Elvis, the lighting is decently solid, and then the credits song is pretty good), but the film falls for some telltale low budget flaws: stilted dialogue, cheesy effects both visually and audibly (I swear every sound effect in this film sounds like it came out of a mid-2000s flash game) and just a bit of drag in the plot really sink what could have easily been a three star movie. I’m actually kind of disappointed in the execution of this! This premise sounded zany! And the movie itself, well, is not! Such is life.

Okay, full disclosure: I read the premise for this after coming across its DVD listing on Amazon a few days ago and was so perplexed by it that I told myself I had to see how it played out. I did not buy the DVD.

Clownado sounds like it’d be a part of the exploitation genre built by the massive success of the Sharknado franchise, and if you assume that you are absolutely correct. And yet despite having many of the same features as Sharknado - low budget effects, at least one name with a level of recognition (Linnea Quigley, of Return of the Living Dead fame, who shows up for two minutes in this film as a strip club owner), and said absurd premise - I feel like this falls somewhere way lower on the totem pole of low-budget filmmaking.

The gore in it is very good - I assume a lot of strawberry jam was used in the making of this? - and I liked some parts of this (a black Elvis impersonator does far more karate than Austin Butler did as the actual Elvis, the lighting is decently solid, and then the credits song is pretty good), but the film falls for some telltale low budget flaws: stilted dialogue, cheesy effects both visually and audibly (I swear every sound effect in this film sounds like it came out of a mid-2000s flash game) and just a bit of drag in the plot really sink what could have easily been a three star movie. I’m actually kind of disappointed in the execution of this! This premise sounded zany! And the movie itself, well, is not! Such is life.

I cannot wait to see what else Amazon prime recommends to me

I cannot wait to see what else Amazon prime recommends to me