“I think we can change the conversation around autism by being part of the conversation.”
The last time I watched this film, I was blown away. I felt like it captured what it’s like being autistic well. I wanted to rewatch it in honor of Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month.
I want to talk about certain things this film addressed.
I’m not nonverbal, so I can’t relate to how it’s like to struggle to speak all the time. But I can still relate to it in some way. Autism is different for every individual. That’s why it’s a spectrum. But in my life, I am a quiet person for the most part. I have moments where I go mute. In my day to day life, I’m a lot more expressive online than I am in real life.
One thing that Naoki described about his life in his book is that his memory is more like a pool of dots. Like he remembers certain things about his life not in order. It’s like this for me, too. I can’t remember the entirety of my life, especially my childhood. I only remember certain things from it. I feel like a good chunk of my life was left blank.
He also talked about why he jumps (hence the title). He described it as breaking through ropes that were holding him down. I identified with that completely. That was a very common thing I did as a kid. Sometimes we feel something very strongly, like happiness. And when that happens, for some people, you have to let it out in a physical way. Jumping was how let those feelings out. It’s a form of stimming. I would always jump when I became excited from something that was on tv. These days, my physical forms of stimming are snapping my fingers, flapping my hands and pacing.
I also want to mention meltdowns/breakdowns. In my experience, the smallest things that could negatively affect me could cause a meltdown. I have anxiety, too, so I have things that linger that really aren’t a big deal to others. For the meltdowns I’ve had, they’ve never been like screaming and thrashing. My mind starts to shut down and all my energy starts to drain out. When I feel a meltdown coming, I make sure if there’s a quiet room or space I can go to. I latch onto a comfort item or a stim toy and put on my headphones to play music. There were times I’d play 127 Hours during a meltdown, too. They don’t happen to me much, but when they do, they suck. They absolutely suck.
“Autistic people obsess over certain things because we’d go crazy if we didn’t. Repetitive things are comforting. They soothe me and protect me from uncertainty.” This. Obviously, this is me with 127 Hours. In a way, I feel like having this interest has helped me with expressing myself. I’d truly go crazy without it.
I think that’s all I’ll cover for today. I’ll share more in future posts!
But anyway, about the film. I still love it. I do wish it focused a bit more on the individuals instead of the parents. But as an autistic person, this film makes me feel seen. Autistic people are important and should be treated with respect, just like everybody else.
