I - urm, what the hell did I just watch?

I - urm, what the hell did I just watch?

Why is this basically just two films mashed together and dubbed? Barbie and Kendra are barely in it as well. I've seen Doctor Mordrid and the Evil Clergyman, Charles Band can do better than this (not that those are the best films but they're enjoyable). Also, I spent the entire time waiting for someone to say "they're coming to get you Barbara" and it never happened unless I somehow missed it.

Why is this basically just two films mashed together and dubbed? Barbie and Kendra are barely in it as well. I've seen Doctor Mordrid and the Evil Clergyman, Charles Band can do better than this (not that those are the best films but they're enjoyable). Also, I spent the entire time waiting for someone to say "they're coming to get you Barbara" and it never happened unless I somehow missed it.

What the fuck was that.

What the fuck was that.

This is my 400th film. I didn’t plan for it to be, but it is. I had a list suggested by friends and fellow LB users and it was full of potential. A thing happened today, however, and it pushed me to choose this instead… besides the fact that this is only an hour long.

Today I had a job interview at a movie theater for a second job, and I got it! To celebrate, I hit up the FYE in the same mall. One of the DVDs I spotted was this film from Full Moon Features. It had no price tag. I asked the lady at the counter and she scanned it; it was $15! This was too much for me knowing that it was also on Tubi… for free… and boy, dollar saved on this one (which went to a Blu-Ray/DVD set of the Star Wars prequels anyway).

It’s clear that producer-director Charles Band is known as a master of the art of schlock. He made Evil Bong, for God’s sake. And yet despite the funny premise of the film - Coronavirus turning people into zombies! - it’s sadly boring. The dialogue feels like you muted the actual audio of the source material (being the films Strippers vs. Zombies and Hell of the Living Dead, plus some original footage; I imagine one of those films would be way better than how it’s used here, and I’ll leave that for you to figure out) with a really bad imitation of Rifftrax going through the film and providing dialogue instead. I understand the limitations of COVID and the pandemic and all, but he’s practically made the same amount of original footage as Derek Savage did for his Coronavirus project. Sometimes the subtitles write lines that’s aren’t even in the film either!

I think Band has a leaning towards being against COVID and anti-maskers at least? I guess when you’re pro-weed and all… there’s a fair amount of Trump archive footage around here. But when you have a line like “[I have] get your hands off my shit, you smelly democrat supplies” and implications that COVID was caused by a soup company producing bat soup, it makes your motives unclear. Very centrist, I guess.

It was a long hour, but at least it wasn’t a waste of $15. Disappointed at Band for this one.

This is my 400th film. I didn’t plan for it to be, but it is. I had a list suggested by friends and fellow LB users and it was full of potential. A thing happened today, however, and it pushed me to choose this instead… besides the fact that this is only an hour long.

Today I had a job interview at a movie theater for a second job, and I got it! To celebrate, I hit up the FYE in the same mall. One of the DVDs I spotted was this film from Full Moon Features. It had no price tag. I asked the lady at the counter and she scanned it; it was $15! This was too much for me knowing that it was also on Tubi… for free… and boy, dollar saved on this one (which went to a Blu-Ray/DVD set of the Star Wars prequels anyway).

It’s clear that producer-director Charles Band is known as a master of the art of schlock. He made Evil Bong, for God’s sake. And yet despite the funny premise of the film - Coronavirus turning people into zombies! - it’s sadly boring. The dialogue feels like you muted the actual audio of the source material (being the films Strippers vs. Zombies and Hell of the Living Dead, plus some original footage; I imagine one of those films would be way better than how it’s used here, and I’ll leave that for you to figure out) with a really bad imitation of Rifftrax going through the film and providing dialogue instead. I understand the limitations of COVID and the pandemic and all, but he’s practically made the same amount of original footage as Derek Savage did for his Coronavirus project. Sometimes the subtitles write lines that’s aren’t even in the film either!

I think Band has a leaning towards being against COVID and anti-maskers at least? I guess when you’re pro-weed and all… there’s a fair amount of Trump archive footage around here. But when you have a line like “[I have] get your hands off my shit, you smelly democrat supplies” and implications that COVID was caused by a soup company producing bat soup, it makes your motives unclear. Very centrist, I guess.

It was a long hour, but at least it wasn’t a waste of $15. Disappointed at Band for this one.