Shangri-La

In 2 years, I promised myself, I’ll get my life affirming surgery and afterwards I shall move to Canada, that’s been my goal for the past 4 months now as I save money for both yet all this time I been so busy with the process that I’m just now realizing I haven’t yet quite processed it. The fact of the matter is I am a woman but I am also trans and I am also Asian but my Asian identity has always feel distant from me, I grew up with foreign media, went to a international school, I always say if anybody sues me in the US I can probably protect myself but over here in Thailand I am helpless. It’s a strange position to be in, every story I’ve written has addressed this feeling of being out of place in your own culture, your own blood but I have yet to grappled with it fully, I am just learning Thai again for the first time in years like. So what’s the point, the point is Shangri La is a transcendent encapsulation of this experience for me. There is hope through love but still remains a fear of your othering, I have been “othered” by my grandmother, my mother is still adjusting and critical of my transness even if she loves me, I thus can’t help but right now find the appeal of falling into the arms of a stranger so intoxicating, they will meet me first and foremost as I am not as I used to be, in the short film Isabel Sandoval’s character is in love with a white American during the time in which interracial relationship is forbidden by state law yet their consummation never feels transgressive, rather it feels timeless, in a sense every love story needs to have a force stopping one from loving the other, it’s a common trope but through this lens both racial and gender identity, there is at once a timeless comfort but also a alarming sense of anticipation, will this be another ride into the sunset or will it be another tragedy? This short is less concern with that possibility although more with what they could mean, it is more about the desire and that’s also been something I have been keen on writing from my experience, the renewal of desire, to regain that will to live and have purpose again but for whom? For strangers or for your home? Or for yourself? Sandoval’s character dreams of other worlds and other places where she could possibly love her lover without rejection or punishment, I too have dreams of other worlds and places, of acceptance and of love, of immigration and not being othered whether here or elsewhere, am glad I have fantasy but just like the ending to the short, I am left in the unknown of emotions, that is all I know and what I know is that i can’t believe in the external world, I can only believe in the internal for they reflect the universe then the make believe we absorb externally.

In 2 years, I promised myself, I’ll get my life affirming surgery and afterwards I shall move to Canada, that’s been my goal for the past 4 months now as I save money for both yet all this time I been so busy with the process that I’m just now realizing I haven’t yet quite processed it. The fact of the matter is I am a woman but I am also trans and I am also Asian but my Asian identity has always feel distant from me, I grew up with foreign media, went to a international school, I always say if anybody sues me in the US I can probably protect myself but over here in Thailand I am helpless. It’s a strange position to be in, every story I’ve written has addressed this feeling of being out of place in your own culture, your own blood but I have yet to grappled with it fully, I am just learning Thai again for the first time in years like. So what’s the point, the point is Shangri La is a transcendent encapsulation of this experience for me. There is hope through love but still remains a fear of your othering, I have been “othered” by my grandmother, my mother is still adjusting and critical of my transness even if she loves me, I thus can’t help but right now find the appeal of falling into the arms of a stranger so intoxicating, they will meet me first and foremost as I am not as I used to be, in the short film Isabel Sandoval’s character is in love with a white American during the time in which interracial relationship is forbidden by state law yet their consummation never feels transgressive, rather it feels timeless, in a sense every love story needs to have a force stopping one from loving the other, it’s a common trope but through this lens both racial and gender identity, there is at once a timeless comfort but also a alarming sense of anticipation, will this be another ride into the sunset or will it be another tragedy? This short is less concern with that possibility although more with what they could mean, it is more about the desire and that’s also been something I have been keen on writing from my experience, the renewal of desire, to regain that will to live and have purpose again but for whom? For strangers or for your home? Or for yourself? Sandoval’s character dreams of other worlds and other places where she could possibly love her lover without rejection or punishment, I too have dreams of other worlds and places, of acceptance and of love, of immigration and not being othered whether here or elsewhere, am glad I have fantasy but just like the ending to the short, I am left in the unknown of emotions, that is all I know and what I know is that i can’t believe in the external world, I can only believe in the internal for they reflect the universe then the make believe we absorb externally.

In 2 years, I promised myself, I’ll get my life affirming surgery and afterwards I shall move to Canada, that’s been my goal for the past 4 months now as I save money for both yet all this time I been so busy with the process that I’m just now realizing I haven’t yet quite processed it. The fact of the matter is I am a woman but I am also trans and I am also Asian but my Asian identity has always feel distant from me, I grew up with foreign media, went to a international school, I always say if anybody sues me in the US I can probably protect myself but over here in Thailand I am helpless. It’s a strange position to be in, every story I’ve written has addressed this feeling of being out of place in your own culture, your own blood but I have yet to grappled with it fully, I am just learning Thai again for the first time in years like. So what’s the point, the point is Shangri La is a transcendent encapsulation of this experience for me. There is hope through love but still remains a fear of your othering, I have been “othered” by my grandmother, my mother is still adjusting and critical of my transness even if she loves me, I thus can’t help but right now find the appeal of falling into the arms of a stranger so intoxicating, they will meet me first and foremost as I am not as I used to be, in the short film Isabel Sandoval’s character is in love with a white American during the time in which interracial relationship is forbidden by state law yet their consummation never feels transgressive, rather it feels timeless, in a sense every love story needs to have a force stopping one from loving the other, it’s a common trope but through this lens both racial and gender identity, there is at once a timeless comfort but also a alarming sense of anticipation, will this be another ride into the sunset or will it be another tragedy? This short is less concern with that possibility although more with what they could mean, it is more about the desire and that’s also been something I have been keen on writing from my experience, the renewal of desire, to regain that will to live and have purpose again but for whom? For strangers or for your home? Or for yourself? Sandoval’s character dreams of other worlds and other places where she could possibly love her lover without rejection or punishment, I too have dreams of other worlds and places, of acceptance and of love, of immigration and not being othered whether here or elsewhere, am glad I have fantasy but just like the ending to the short, I am left in the unknown of emotions, that is all I know and what I know is that i can’t believe in the external world, I can only believe in the internal for they reflect the universe then the make believe we absorb externally.

In 2 years, I promised myself, I’ll get my life affirming surgery and afterwards I shall move to Canada, that’s been my goal for the past 4 months now as I save money for both yet all this time I been so busy with the process that I’m just now realizing I haven’t yet quite processed it. The fact of the matter is I am a woman but I am also trans and I am also Asian but my Asian identity has always feel distant from me, I grew up with foreign media, went to a international school, I always say if anybody sues me in the US I can probably protect myself but over here in Thailand I am helpless. It’s a strange position to be in, every story I’ve written has addressed this feeling of being out of place in your own culture, your own blood but I have yet to grappled with it fully, I am just learning Thai again for the first time in years like. So what’s the point, the point is Shangri La is a transcendent encapsulation of this experience for me. There is hope through love but still remains a fear of your othering, I have been “othered” by my grandmother, my mother is still adjusting and critical of my transness even if she loves me, I thus can’t help but right now find the appeal of falling into the arms of a stranger so intoxicating, they will meet me first and foremost as I am not as I used to be, in the short film Isabel Sandoval’s character is in love with a white American during the time in which interracial relationship is forbidden by state law yet their consummation never feels transgressive, rather it feels timeless, in a sense every love story needs to have a force stopping one from loving the other, it’s a common trope but through this lens both racial and gender identity, there is at once a timeless comfort but also a alarming sense of anticipation, will this be another ride into the sunset or will it be another tragedy? This short is less concern with that possibility although more with what they could mean, it is more about the desire and that’s also been something I have been keen on writing from my experience, the renewal of desire, to regain that will to live and have purpose again but for whom? For strangers or for your home? Or for yourself? Sandoval’s character dreams of other worlds and other places where she could possibly love her lover without rejection or punishment, I too have dreams of other worlds and places, of acceptance and of love, of immigration and not being othered whether here or elsewhere, am glad I have fantasy but just like the ending to the short, I am left in the unknown of emotions, that is all I know and what I know is that i can’t believe in the external world, I can only believe in the internal for they reflect the universe then the make believe we absorb externally.

Didn't realize this was a luxury brand advertisement until I started watching it.

This is basically filmed Tumblr erotica, which isn't a bad thing per se, but I think the whole piece would have felt more honest and meaningful if it had gone all-in and veered into straight up hardcore pornography.

Didn't realize this was a luxury brand advertisement until I started watching it.

This is basically filmed Tumblr erotica, which isn't a bad thing per se, but I think the whole piece would have felt more honest and meaningful if it had gone all-in and veered into straight up hardcore pornography.

horny slam poetry that has me tingling for forbidden, interacial love i have no part in

horny slam poetry that has me tingling for forbidden, interacial love i have no part in

damn u got the whole squad crying

damn u got the whole squad crying