An impotent husband with a fanatical desire to father children, forces his wife to undergo a dangerous experiment. This results in the birth of a multitude of monstrous THINGS.
Directed by Andrew Jordan
monster
experiment
pregnancy
gore
porn star
giant insect
chainsaw
parasite
canuxploitation
female reporter
IMDB
N/A
Letterboxd
2.3 / 5
Where to Watch
Cast
Amber Lynn
Reporter
Barry J. Gillis
Don Drake
Crew
Andrew Jordan
Director
Andrew Jordan
Writer
Barry J. Gillis
Writer
Andrew Jordan
Editor
Barry J. Gillis
Editor
Andrew Jordan
Producer
Barry J. Gillis
Producer
Popular Reviews
10 reviews
Sean McGrath
8.0★ · 11/18/25
I do not want to have a job, I want to shoot shitty movies about fucked up shit with my friends
I do not want to have a job, I want to shoot shitty movies about fucked up shit with my friends
Brendon
1.0★ · 08/22/25
I may have just completed the biggest tonal whiplash double feature in history.Objectively awful. I don't typically like it when people say something along the lines of that, but Things is pretty fucking awful. Half of it is pretty boring as fuck, while the other half is entertaining as hell. I would watch this again, especially knowing what I'm getting into, because I do love movies like Pink Flamingos that are on a similar caliber. Pretty much everything here is bad, from the awful editing and inconsistent sound design to bizarre acting and poor direction, but how much can I judge from this? A lot, but I appreciate it because this does seem to have passion behind it, and it is a movie that I would recommend if you want to see something very bizarre and unlike many I've seen.
I may have just completed the biggest tonal whiplash double feature in history.Objectively awful. I don't typically like it when people say something along the lines of that, but Things is pretty fucking awful. Half of it is pretty boring as fuck, while the other half is entertaining as hell. I would watch this again, especially knowing what I'm getting into, because I do love movies like Pink Flamingos that are on a similar caliber. Pretty much everything here is bad, from the awful editing and inconsistent sound design to bizarre acting and poor direction, but how much can I judge from this? A lot, but I appreciate it because this does seem to have passion behind it, and it is a movie that I would recommend if you want to see something very bizarre and unlike many I've seen.
Leo
1.0★ · 04/30/25
it's crazy how a movie can have not a single redeeming quality. such utter slop i cannot believe that i watched it all the way
it's crazy how a movie can have not a single redeeming quality. such utter slop i cannot believe that i watched it all the way
Sean McGrath
8.2★ · 03/02/25
I don’t think there is a more genuine example of a trashterpiece than this. Borderline impossible to rate
I don’t think there is a more genuine example of a trashterpiece than this. Borderline impossible to rate
angelo
3.6★ · 11/26/23
Completely confused throughout the entire runtime. Love the design of the Things but they hardly provide anything eventful in scenes. The all over the place editing did give some glitchy TV station vibes which I enjoyed. The dialogue was displayed a sense of unparalleled reality as the audio was synced up too loud but I worked as if someone was telling a story and living the event at the same time. Beautiful aesthetic of colors randomly clashing in the rooms giving its own psychedelic features.
I expected this to be more of a bloodbath but it just people dying then coming back to life. The finale tried to set itself up as the psychological upbringing but I just kept thinking to myself “when is this gonna end?”.
Completely confused throughout the entire runtime. Love the design of the Things but they hardly provide anything eventful in scenes. The all over the place editing did give some glitchy TV station vibes which I enjoyed. The dialogue was displayed a sense of unparalleled reality as the audio was synced up too loud but I worked as if someone was telling a story and living the event at the same time. Beautiful aesthetic of colors randomly clashing in the rooms giving its own psychedelic features.
I expected this to be more of a bloodbath but it just people dying then coming back to life. The finale tried to set itself up as the psychological upbringing but I just kept thinking to myself “when is this gonna end?”.
