Alien Franchise RankedHE SAID THE FUCKING THING!!! David Johnson is a cutie—I loved his character so much, even though he was annoying the fuck out of me. All the actors were good, but David Johnson was definitely the star of this movie. He is incredible. The robots in these movies always are. It's that cum blood they have, I'm telling you! It made him give such a good performance as this AI conflicted with his tasks and morals. It's a fan-service movie at its best—what Alien: Covenant was really close to being. Still, those last 30 minutes show this is a Fede Alvarez movie and go straight-up insane.
But the fan service thing might also be a problem because, I mean, don't get me wrong—I loved the references it made in this—but Jesus, if it maybe tried to do its own thing at times, it would have been better. I think we all know that Fede Alvarez can do a lot worse than that hybrid Slenderman thing, and I would love to see it, but they pretty much stick to being a basic intense Alien movie with MUCH better camera work. It looks so fucking great, but overall it feels more like the original Alien than both Prometheus and Covenant. I just wish we got to see more of whatever the fuck Alvarez's mind can cook up.
But I still really enjoyed this movie. Cailee Spaeny and David Johnson were amazing in this; they gave life to the movie and are two great leads. But again, Johnson really steals the show, being a great addition to the robots of this franchise. He has a very intriguing arc and had me scared we were gonna see another David. Him and Spaeny made Andy and Rain’s journey completely believable, and I think that's what people always loved about this franchise. Like the OG, Romulus takes its time with the first 45 minutes, setting up the characters and their relationships with each other, and slowly builds suspense beautifully. All the cast does well, and none of the characters feel forced, and surprisingly, not that many clichés. But once those facehuggers are released, the movie truly goes all in.
I liked how it shows the more sexual thing this franchise always had—how invasive this process really is, and the big-ass cocks they put in people's mouths. Alvarez really proves once again he knows how to frame horror and deliver suspense and gore (not that much—don’t expect Evil Dead gore). And this movie just looked amazing. The xenomorphs, obviously, are incredible—much better than CGI. But I honestly think the facehuggers were somehow better. I don't know if it's because we spend more time with them than usual, but Alvarez really wasn’t going to let those crawly things go to waste. He had fun with them, for sure. The practical effects in this were really good and gave the movie such a realism.
So basically, Alvarez is amazing, and he brings back that industrial, slimy, gooey, sticky, gossamy vibe the first two had. I just really wish he took more risks, although people wouldn’t like it as much and it would be another Prometheus case. But still, dude, that 3rd act is fucking amazing! But Jesus, Isabela Merced will never have her starring role where she lives, although watch out for her and Cailee. The way they are headed, they are going to become huge stars. Now, not everyone will love that climax, but I sure fucking did. Look at that shit! Kay, I feel sorry for you, but Jesus, Alvarez really went all in on that—the gooey titty milk, the sucking on that, the birthing scene, and that fucking creature design! OMFG, it felt like one of David's experiments. I wish we got to see more of these new ideas, like what would happen if a facehugger and the hybrid meet? Would the facehugger attack them? I just really, REALLY wanted to see more of these nasty things, but what we got in the 3rd act was great and also really fucking intense at times, with a great setting and a kind of usual-at-this-point ending, but still good.
And although it’s not very thematically like the prequels, it still has those things but more subtly. Rain’s whole mission is to find a better life than what was given to her, and we have seen that plot before in thematic themes. This is the same: finding your and our purpose in life, just to always get fucked when they do. So, it’s about how you shouldn’t mess with nature and try to break free and be something more than you were designed for, because you might not survive it (the humans not adapting to the colonies), or sometimes you will (David). It's just an act of faith.
Overall, Alien: Romulus is a solid fan-service movie that brings back that original Alien vibe with a wild Fede Alvarez twist in the final act. David Johnson is the star here—his take on a conflicted AI is awesome. The movie does a great job with the suspense and practical effects, really nailing that slimy, gritty feel we love from the series. It's packed with references, which is fun, but I wish it had taken more chances. Cailee Spaeny and Isabela Merced are great, but it's Johnson who really makes this worth watching. A fun ride, especially for hardcore fans!
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