This past Monday fellow Letterboxer
JudusPurex and I attended The Undertaker's
1 Dead Man show at the historic Palais Theatre in St Kilda. Taker, fueled by Jack Daniels, regaled the crowd with many a tale of practical jokes, backstage shenanigans and epic in-ring encounters across his 30 year career in Professional Wrestling. It was a great time with plenty of laughs, crowd interaction and overall badassery.
One besuited wag in the crowd was brave enough to ask Taker about his experiences on set in his feature film debut, the truly woeful 1991 Hulk Hogan Sci-fi/Comedy/Action vehicle
Suburban Commando. While Taker didn't have a lot to say, other than acknowledging the general awfulness of the finished product, you could tell he was thankful for a question that landed a little out of the ordinary, even if it did elicit a shot of Jack before he was capable of answering.
Now is the actual film as bad as all that?
Well....yes.😅
Initially designed as a vehicle for Schwarzenegger and Devito, who wisely opted to make
Twins instead, this was then optioned by New Line Cinema (really Bob Shaye,
really?!?) and turned into a headline act for WWF superstar Hulk Hogan. Coming off the massive
'Rock and Wrestling' era of the 80s and a cameo in
Rocky III, Hogan was a bonafide in-ring superstar, who despite his limited move-set had an undeniable
'say your prayers and eat your vitamins' connection with young fans across the globe. Sticking this guy in a kid friendly actioner seemed like a sure fire win, but as they say the road to hell is paved with good intention...
Hogan is Shep Ramsey, an intergalactic space warrior, ordered by his boss to take an enforced six week vacation, in which he inexplicably decides to holiday in...suburban America of all places? Why not Cancun my friend? Vegas? Morocco? Hollywood Hogan rents a room from Christoper Lloyd, a put upon architect with a skinflint boss (Larry Miller), who is persuaded to lease his beloved workshed out as accommodation by his caring, Dr Ruth obssessed wife Shelly Duvall, in an effort to keep pace with their ever mounting bills.
Lloyd and Duvall are a looooong way from
Back to the Future and
The Shining here, although Duvall probably had a better experience on set than she did with Kubrick.
What follows are several misadventures as Hogan
'hilariously' fails to grasp modern American life and frequently underestimating his strength to middling comedic returns. I snarkily used airquotes around hilarious, but I did laugh at this movie. More than once. More than twice even. The humour is a mix of dumb slapstick and dad jokes (sample joke: to counter a freeze-ray Hogan drinks a tube of antifreeze 😆), and as I am quite the connoisseur of Dad Jokes, this shit is my
jam!It does outwear it's welcome pretty quickly however and at only 90 minutes that is no mean feat. All the Dad Jokes in the world can't save the boring extended finale consisting of naff optical effects and pedestrian fight choreography.
How does the big man Taker do? He is far from the worst thing in the movie, playing a dirty, scuzzy mute brute bounty hunter His jet rocket boot showdown with Hogan is on par with their later bout at
Survivor Series '91.
In an interesting aside, Taker would have genuine
'heat' with Hogan during his time in WWF. Hogan, renowned for his backstage politicing, would claim that the Undertaker severely damaged his neck, while Taker performed his famed
Tombstone Piledriver finishing move at the conclusion of their Survior Series bout . This of course is bullshit, with the tape clearly showing Hogan's head and neck well protected during the move, and the only
'injury' being Hogan's bruised ego as he was salty about dropping the world title to an up and coming talent.
Future
Handmaid's Tale star Elizabeth Moss has an early role as a girl who loses her cat up a tree, resulting in a predictable, yet funny
'Hogan doesn't know his own strength' gag.
I also once touched The Undertaker's back as he brawled through the crowd with Triple H at the MCG during the
WWE Super Showdown event in 2018.
Good times.
