Alright in my defense: I watched this on tubi which has a terrible horrible disgusting looking rip, this is the English release because the original Japanese version was unavailable for free (I’m a cheap bitch what do you want from me?), and I am currently sick out of my mind.
This sucked. Just really lame and felt like a bastardized slice and dice of a longer, more intelligent movie. This seems to do that Godzilla king of the monsters strategy which was to not dub the actors but to simply, insert an American actor with Japanese actors who spoke English and just pretend they’re also in the movie. Even though they’re are literally 30 miles away from any of the action. Speaking of the action boy how exciting it is! With all of the nothing that really happens, Varan just kind of wanders around and I know Godzilla does kind of the same but Godzilla it feels like a revenge push against the monsters that created him. Varan was just chilling in a lake, some saline charges awoke him, he rampaged in anger for a bit and then the same saline bombs that woke him up killed him… somehow missiles? No! guns? No. Tanks? No! Tiny bombs meant for an experiment to see if it’ll clear up salt water? Uh huh! Anyway this was boing and annoying especially with its narrative staging of just inserting a white guy into the movie for dumb Americans. I wish people in the 60’s weren’t racist so we could just have the original and only the original. Them feeling the need to put a white dude in the film when he had no reason to be there in the first place is sickening, it’s the exact same reason why I hate the Americanized version of Gojira. Totally just ruins whatever tone they were going for in both cases. Gojira is a haunting nightmare of the after effects and PTSD of wwii, Godzilla king of the monsters is a story about how Perry Mason calms the Japanese public and saves the day by convincing a Japanese scientist to just be a little brave! Without even seeing the original Varan I get the same vibe and it’s just gross.
Alright in my defense: I watched this on tubi which has a terrible horrible disgusting looking rip, this is the English release because the original Japanese version was unavailable for free (I’m a cheap bitch what do you want from me?), and I am currently sick out of my mind.
This sucked. Just really lame and felt like a bastardized slice and dice of a longer, more intelligent movie. This seems to do that Godzilla king of the monsters strategy which was to not dub the actors but to simply, insert an American actor with Japanese actors who spoke English and just pretend they’re also in the movie. Even though they’re are literally 30 miles away from any of the action. Speaking of the action boy how exciting it is! With all of the nothing that really happens, Varan just kind of wanders around and I know Godzilla does kind of the same but Godzilla it feels like a revenge push against the monsters that created him. Varan was just chilling in a lake, some saline charges awoke him, he rampaged in anger for a bit and then the same saline bombs that woke him up killed him… somehow missiles? No! guns? No. Tanks? No! Tiny bombs meant for an experiment to see if it’ll clear up salt water? Uh huh! Anyway this was boing and annoying especially with its narrative staging of just inserting a white guy into the movie for dumb Americans. I wish people in the 60’s weren’t racist so we could just have the original and only the original. Them feeling the need to put a white dude in the film when he had no reason to be there in the first place is sickening, it’s the exact same reason why I hate the Americanized version of Gojira. Totally just ruins whatever tone they were going for in both cases. Gojira is a haunting nightmare of the after effects and PTSD of wwii, Godzilla king of the monsters is a story about how Perry Mason calms the Japanese public and saves the day by convincing a Japanese scientist to just be a little brave! Without even seeing the original Varan I get the same vibe and it’s just gross.
