Uh wow. Quite the way to open a movie. The framing device seems 90% dedicated to having characters say “freak” a million times and the whole thing is super goofy, but you start with a dude shooting up a movie theater. Piles of dead bodies. Closes the movie, too. A mass murder culminating in a suicide.
Fucking misleading cover. “Freak show” curator looks nothing like that, nor does his museum. I wanted Jonathan Frakes to pop out, slap the guy, and start a Beyond Belief intro. Instead there’s a jar baby that makes goofy cat noises. Relax the muscles around your eyes (?) and the jar baby gives you vignette visions. First up, a burning man steam punker has a stand off with a poodle. It’s, uh, pretty dumb and bad. The soundtrack to this movie is getting big laughs from me, though. Second, fucking great editing to open it. Halloween at a pizza parlor where there are far too many employees (who are all grossly incompetent). Mulleted blockhead baby boy Gino dodges delivering to 1313 Bramstoker Boulevard by volunteering new guy magician herb Wilbur. He’s racist towards Italians and is a “chicken delivering a pizza.” Turns into a bad music video. Or a lingerie ad. What ever this is supposed to be, it sucks. That makeup design. Cheek horns? Third, a girl dies from drugs after tripping a dumb Frankenstein scene but she’s not dead just paralyzed and gets autopsied. There’s jar babies that aren’t in jars. Fourth, a dickhead croaks putting. The grave diggers who out him in his “final hole” are hesher laurel and hardy and they get caught up in a scheme to transplant graveyard dirt to a golf course by an awful widow. It’s an excuse for some dull music video zombie bullshit. Every sequence is a missed opportunity except the first which just shouldn’t have been included.
Tries too hard, has just abysmal humor, and barely coheres into a series of stories. This definitely feels like a movie made by dudes who think they’re funny and haven’t really seen a lot of horror movies but hey horror flicks make money so yadda yadda yadda movie. The music and sound design really, really elevate this garbage. Still, you’d be better off just watching The Willies or Deadtime Stories or a lot of other anthologies.
Uh wow. Quite the way to open a movie. The framing device seems 90% dedicated to having characters say “freak” a million times and the whole thing is super goofy, but you start with a dude shooting up a movie theater. Piles of dead bodies. Closes the movie, too. A mass murder culminating in a suicide.
Fucking misleading cover. “Freak show” curator looks nothing like that, nor does his museum. I wanted Jonathan Frakes to pop out, slap the guy, and start a Beyond Belief intro. Instead there’s a jar baby that makes goofy cat noises. Relax the muscles around your eyes (?) and the jar baby gives you vignette visions. First up, a burning man steam punker has a stand off with a poodle. It’s, uh, pretty dumb and bad. The soundtrack to this movie is getting big laughs from me, though. Second, fucking great editing to open it. Halloween at a pizza parlor where there are far too many employees (who are all grossly incompetent). Mulleted blockhead baby boy Gino dodges delivering to 1313 Bramstoker Boulevard by volunteering new guy magician herb Wilbur. He’s racist towards Italians and is a “chicken delivering a pizza.” Turns into a bad music video. Or a lingerie ad. What ever this is supposed to be, it sucks. That makeup design. Cheek horns? Third, a girl dies from drugs after tripping a dumb Frankenstein scene but she’s not dead just paralyzed and gets autopsied. There’s jar babies that aren’t in jars. Fourth, a dickhead croaks putting. The grave diggers who out him in his “final hole” are hesher laurel and hardy and they get caught up in a scheme to transplant graveyard dirt to a golf course by an awful widow. It’s an excuse for some dull music video zombie bullshit. Every sequence is a missed opportunity except the first which just shouldn’t have been included.
Tries too hard, has just abysmal humor, and barely coheres into a series of stories. This definitely feels like a movie made by dudes who think they’re funny and haven’t really seen a lot of horror movies but hey horror flicks make money so yadda yadda yadda movie. The music and sound design really, really elevate this garbage. Still, you’d be better off just watching The Willies or Deadtime Stories or a lot of other anthologies.
